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The Privacy Invasion Collection

Requesting Letters of Support

This is how I intend to request letters of support for my case:

  1. Use DEAR MAN (A Dialectical Behavioral Therapy tool) to request letters of support. Offer $40 to friends for their time spent reviewing and responding to my request.
  2. Obtain email addresses and physical addresses of people I’m requesting support from.
  3. Email them the request letter, asking for them if they’d be willing to spend a couple of hours reviewing my case report and write a letter indicating whether or not they believe it’s possible that I really WAS spied on, along with supportive evidence.
  4. Send them the case report if they are willing to spend the time doing this. Offer reward for doing this for me, as it will take a couple of hours or so. Pay them for their time regardless of whether or not they believe me.
  5. If people feel it’s possible, ask them to use talking points, including:
    1. Competencies demonstrated that run counter to a schizophrenia diagnosis.
    1. Recognizing a strong motive for the alleged spy operation.
    1. Specific points addressed in my case report that support the possibility of a real spy operation.
    1. Anything they know about the character of my alleged spies (for those who have met some of my family, for example).
    1. Their credentials, if they have any, and/or their relationship to me.
  6. Schedule a 2-hr session with MJ, Laurel, Stephanie A, Rex, my peer support specialist, and a couple of counselors at FBH who believed I may have been spied on, to review my case report and interview me. Ask if they believe it’s possible that I really was spied on and ask them for letters of support to present to a legal team, along with their credentials.
  7. In the case report, document:
    1. My request letters (showing organized thinking and applied DBT skills).
    1. The letters of support from those who believe it’s possible I really WAS spied on.
    1. My full report, showing the who, what, when, where, and why of it, circumstantial evidence, as well as the history and character of some of my prime suspects.
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The Privacy Invasion Collection

My #1 Issue & Action Plan

This is the agenda I came up with based on the SOLVED application, a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy tool for problem solving. My problem is that I believe I was spied and subjected to torture, and I want justice. I discussed this agenda with my counselor, who seemed supportive.

  1. Continue to work on my case report. Demonstrate a motive. Show the who, what, when, where, and why. Examine the character and history of some of my alleged spies.
  2. Work on systematic desensitization with Stephanie A.
  3. Prove my competencies to others and document them in my case report. Look for opportunities to build and demonstrate competencies, especially in the areas of written communication, oral communication, relationship-building, collaboration, organizing, and other tasks. Demonstrate ability to organize thoughts, offer editorial advice (which I did for the EGC self-study), etc.
    1. Presentations for The Evergreen Club (EGC):
      1. Present to the Spokane Homeless Coalition.
      1. Present to other area agencies and civic organizations.
      1. Perform speaking tours for the EGC in which I share parts of my personal story (although there will be parts of my story that I WON’T be sharing publicly).
    1. Consumer Educator Position for the Eastern Washington University (E.W.U.) occupational therapy program (limited, contractual employment).
    1. Publications @ EGC.
    1. Writing group (when I’m ready).
    1. Eventually: Work with Spokane group MAC (first focus on other committee work and presentations for EGC).
    1. Gain competency on speaking both through practice, and by learning speaking skills.
  4. Show my case report to other individuals and ask them if they believe I was possibly subject to a real spy operation. Ask for a letter indicating whether or not they believe it’s possible I really was spied on, including talking points discussing their opinion with supportive evidence. Ask Stephanie A, MJ @ EGC, Laurel @ EGC, Rex @ EGC, Diana @ EWU, Rachael A., Chris Snell, Elaine Terdal, Elizabeth Ross, Orion Moon, Sean McKelvey, Kristen, agencies, reporters, and journalists. Have a sit-down meeting with Stephanie A, MJ of EGC, Laurel White of EGC, Rexanne of EGC, as well a couple of counselors who believed it was possible that I was spied on, to review my case report and interview me.
  5. Collect letters of support.
  6. Show my case report along with letters of support to a legal team and ask that they further investigate by looking into phone calls and talking to people. Ask them if they can hire a psychologist or psychiatrist with a PhD to sit down with me, review my case report and my medical records to determine if they believe it was possible that I was spied on.
  7. Address anxiety about potential publicity by seeking moral support from others. Gradually share more of my story to certain individuals and in group (though asking my group leaders not to document everything I share). Ask agencies that will be sympathetic to my cause for moral support as well if/when my case goes to trial and during any potential publicity via the press and social media that results.
  8. During times of negative publicity (assuming there is negative publicity), reach out to people who have pledged moral support.
  9. Be sure to celebrate my progress including small action steps towards my goal. Post my celebrations on Facebook.
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The Privacy Invasion Collection

My Multi-Pronged Strategy

Here is the strategy I presented to my counselor at Frontier Behavioral Health today. She didn’t have any suggestions for improvement. She never tells me I’m schizophrenic when I present stuff like this to her, and she seems supportive of my desire to pursue justice and have my case properly investigated.

The Evergreen Club and my position as a Consumer Educator for E.W.U. (limited contractual work) will provide me with opportunities to develop and demonstrate many competencies, which will be important in building my case report and in gaining letters of support from others who believe me, which I will be presenting to a legal team along with the case report. The case report will explain the who, what, when, where, and why of the alleged spy operation, as well as explore the character and history of a few of my prime suspects, plus show many of my competencies that are outside the norm for someone with a diagnosis of schizophrenia.  I will especially be seeking out opportunities to develop and demonstrate competency in presenting, writing, editing, organizing, collaborating, and communicating, showing organized thought as well as demonstrating critical thinking skills. At the Evergreen Club, I am engaging in committee work, will be giving club tours, in which I will share my personal story (just parts of it as there is stuff that I won’t be opening up about publicly when I represent the Evergreen Club), will plan and prepare presentations to other organizations, including the Spokane Homeless Coalition and civic organizations. I offered editorial advice a recent self-study at the Evergreen Club, a study that we must routinely submit to Clubhouse International to keep our accreditation.  I prepare Power-Point presentations and Facebook posts for The Evergreen Club, as well as do front desk work and some other work as needed and as my mood or energy level dictates. Furthermore, I plan to run a book club for the book Their Eyes Were Watching God, engage in writing and sharing with the Drop in & Write group through Spark Central (although that’s currently on hold as I need to do more work on anxiety & developing my competency at written communication & vocabulary), and later on in the future I plan to work with the Spokane organization Music, Art, & Creativity (MAC). That’s on hold as well as I have lots of other work to do before I get to that, plus need to gradually work on systematic desensitization before I’m ready to participate.

Furthermore, I will be planning on how to cope with a stressful court battle and potential publicity. I will gain the verbal support of other agencies by sending them my case report along with letters of support to various agencies who might be sympathetic to my cause and have my back. Gaining support will provide me with other individuals and agencies to reach out to when I am in heightened states of distress during the potential court case along with any potential negative publicity from the press and social media that arises as a result of pursuing legal action.

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Uncategorized

Chasing the Police

On the way to the bus stop, following my counseling appointment, I came across a couple of police on bicycles, who were riding around in the parking lot of Seven Eleven, at the corner of 2nd Avenue & Division in Spokane, Washington. As I continued to walk, they started following some guy. They didn’t seize the guy or force him on the ground or anything, but they were trying to direct him to turn. So, I decided to follow and make sure the cops didn’t get violent, as the guy was totally nonviolent. I had to keep turning the corner to follow them, and at some point I had to run a little, in my denim skirt with a bell-shaped bottom which folded up in the middle, my lavender long-sleeved hippy shirt w/ a couple of buttons, my green and white flowered bandana tied around my head like a headband, and my big red-framed sunglasses and mask blocking my face (it was 50’s, 60’s, & 70’s day at The Evergreen Club). I kept up for a while and happened upon my niece Katie’s x-boyfriend Justin, who I had seen earlier in the day on my way to the counseling appointment, on a litter-filled street near the mental health buildings and the House of Charity shelter for men. So, I stopped to say hello to Justin. I don’t know how he recognized me earlier in the day, come to think of it, underneath the mask and the sunglasses. He must have recognized my voice. He had asked to buy a cigarette earlier and I offered to give him one. He said he liked my outfit. Then he said, “Are you Myra?” and I was like “Yeah.” I didn’t recognize him immediately. I hadn’t seen him since maybe 2012 when him and Katie were together and lived with me and my ex-boyfriend Adam for a month, so I was like “Who are you?” He said “Justin.” I was like, oh wow, Katie’s ex-boyfriend. He was doing some work on his old car and his hands were all greasy. He presents as super nice, but this guy, when he got back into meth years ago, he got to the point where he was selling black-market AK47s. So, you know, he’s kinda dangerous. I wasn’t afraid of him though. The way it works on the street, generally, is that so long as you don’t fuck with someone, they won’t fuck with you. Now, narcing on someone is dangerous. That can get you beat up or even killed. But Justin was being nice and pleasant and had no reason to fuck with me, so I wasn’t afraid. And he didn’t seem manic or anything. If he was on drugs, I couldn’t tell. Anyway, when I saw him earlier, I didn’t say much as I told him I had to hurry off to my appointment. About 1 ½ hours later, when I coincidentally saw him again, I stopped and chatted for a bit. I told him I had been following the police to make sure they didn’t hurt anyone. If they did, I planned to film it. That’s how George Floyd’s perpetrator got busted. It was all caught on tape. So, I told Justin this, and told him to keep an eye on the cops. He said he would. He told me that a man outside the House of Charity had gotten shot by a police officer 17 times, after pulling out some sword or something. Yeah, so that guy died. There was nothing to see today, however. No news is good news! Anyway, the 2nd time I saw Justin, he started talking about his car and some car part. That’s when he lost me, and it was hot outside, and I was sweating in my long-sleeve blouse, so I told him I had to jet off to catch my bus. I went to the wrong bus stop (the bus was on detour), but I did see the police circling around in some parking lot. Then I caught the bus and that was the end of my adventure. I guess I’m not much of a street journalist, because there was nothing to report! Oh, but I did do my TOTALLY brave thing for the day, my “alternate rebellion” as they say in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy treatment for treating addiction.

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

Street Justice Vs. Legal Justice

My friend and former business partner, Sean McKelvey, thinks if I pursue legal justice against my alleged spies and get them put in prison, that I’m no better then them. The way I see it though, is that they were threatening to send ME off to prison, so I want to turn the tables around on them and threaten to send THEIR sorry asses off to prison and use the law their care so fucking much about against THEM! Besides, if I pursued street justice, I would be the one who would end up in prison, and society wouldn’t learn an important lesson, being that it’s NEVER okay to violate someone’s constitutional privacy rights AND it’s NEVER okay to terrorize and psychologically torture someone. I don’t care WHAT you suspect they’re doing in the privacy of their own home. I don’t care WHAT you heard about them. I don’t care what they actually ARE doing in the privacy of their own home. We ALL have fucking rights, damn it. And they were so hell-bent on trying to prove that I was malingering, telling me what great SPEAKING and THINKING skills I had. Damn it, I was great at speaking because I was so goddamn passionate about my fucking RIGHTS. I was ANGRY! I was on FIRE! Also, I wasn’t on stage in front of a live audience, so I didn’t have stage fright, and I had grown accustomed to their presence. When I was lecturing them, I was doing it from the HEART! That’s why my “speeches” I gave them were so goddamn powerful! I’m not simply in this to teach THEM a powerful lesson, I’m in this to teach SOCIETY a fucking lesson! That’s why this is so important to me. This is everything to me. This is URGENT! I’ll put my “speaking” skills and “thinking” skills to work to prove that THEY are indeed the REAL criminals!

For the record, Sean thought it would be justice enough to write and publish a book about their abusive behavior. But I disagree. It isn’t enough for their crimes against me. And I’m not one to pursue street justice anyway. That was never an option for me. By the way, Sean said there’s no WAY I’m schizophrenic. He believes I was spied on. And they had their reasons.

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

The Big Important Scary Thing…

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

So, the big important thing I’m going to be doing in the next several weeks is – I wish it was abolishing capitalism, but no, that’s over my head – is preparing a document to present to a legal team that makes a compelling argument that my privacy rights were violated, that I was put through psychological torture, and that I was a victim of a hate crime. Putting this document together and preparing to speak to a legal team is anxiety-inducing, so I’m going to be working with therapists and am going to try what’s known as “systematic desensitization.” I’ve already started the process of desensitization by sharing parts of my story publicly on Facebook and on my blog. I’m also participating in a public group outside the safety of the mental health community, though I haven’t shared a lot yet with them about my personal story, but it is a writing group, and I will be writing about myself, and sharing parts of it. I ended up in pain from the anxiety last time I was in group, and I’m going to have to embrace some physical pain as I expose myself to triggers. So long as I understand what’s causing the pain, so I don’t freak out about the pain and end up in extra bad pain from health anxiety, I’ll manage. And I have Xanax I can take when it gets really bad. If I get the publicity I’m pursuing, I could end up in severe pain for a few days when news breaks out. But I’ll have supporters I can lean on. I can call First Call for Help if I need to. I can take Xanax and practice coping techniques. I’ll be learning and reviewing lots of coping strategies in the next several weeks as I plan to attend group therapy at Frontier Behavioral Health. So, I will be arming myself with solid steel armor. And I will be taking lots of busy breaks to distract myself from all of this as well. What I won’t be doing much of is resting as that just increases my anxiety because I spend my resting time thinking and overthinking stuff, which really isn’t restful at all. Sometimes I sleep well, and sometimes my sleep is shitty. I’ll just have to deal with it. btw, I’m reading “Fight Club” which is one of my many distractions right now. Got other projects going on at The Evergreen Club. I might be at risk of going overboard, which I have a history of doing, but I’m trying to stay as busy and preoccupied as possible when not spending time constructively addressing my “situation.”

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

This is My Revenge

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

My neck muscles are all knotted up. My nerves through-out my fascia are whining obnoxiously, like a children’s choir. But I’ve got to do this. I’ve GOT to! This is my revenge. I must teach them a lesson if it kills me! I could get tied down at the stake and burned alive, a human roast. I might get tortured first. But I want them to wake up one day; fully wake up to the realization of “Oh my God, what have I done?” I want that to sink in, deep down into their bones. I want every ounce of fiber in their entire body singing my song in a squealing voice, laden with a high-pitched synthesizer sound. I want their stomach muscles tight and achy much as mine, and I want them to feel so sick to their stomach that they vomit puke-green slime. I want them to cry out to the great heavens, begging forgiveness for what they have done; for what I have had to endure.

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Consumer Behavior

Everywhere is Far by Bus

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

I had to go back to the cellphone repair shop, because having the new microphone placed on my smartphone replaced didn’t do the trick. The repair shop wasn’t far away, but when you have to take the bus around, every place feels far away. You have to wait outside in in the snow, the rain, during allergy season; even during record heat waves followed by wildfire season which means poor air quality. I would have had to take only one bus to get there, but then I would have had to wait for up to 30 minutes to catch the bus coming back.

Now some people are big on the idea of shopping local and shopping small, but most of them have cars. Try shopping small and having to take multiple buses all over the way to buy different things. Also, you have to bring a shopping cart with you, and the bus driver might make you fold it up before boarding, which is a hassle. A packed bus will sometimes drive by someone with a cart full of groceries or someone in a wheelchair due to insufficient space.

I’m not saying all this to scare you away from riding the bus. We absolutely all need to get on the bus! Our planet is dying. Billions of creatures and lots of people are dying! There’s a reason though why I prefer to shop along the bus route and take only one, maybe two buses, despite believing in the idea of “going local.” Of course, nonlocal food travels an average of 1500 miles from the farm to your plate, so maybe I’m not doing the world a favor by not having a car. Not that I can afford a car or all local, organic food on my budget, anyway.

Luckily, I do live near a local corner store. But this corner store mostly sells nonlocal liquor, tobacco, junk food, and soda – so they’re not to be idealized by any means. I do support them, though. I sadly have a tobacco addiction, plus I like an occasional beer or two (and they do have decent beer for cheap). But by no means are they great role models as they cash in on our addictions. If cocaine were legal, they’d cash in on that too.

I’m actually for the decriminalization of drugs due to the violent nature of our war on drugs and due to people having to spend so much time behind bars due to their addictions. But at the same time, I don’t necessarily like people profiting off of our addictions. It’s no different than cashing in on our shopping addictions, our eating addictions, our gambling addictions, and our addiction to oil. Though honestly, some people get by only because they sell drugs, due to their own tragic addictions or due to socioeconomic factors and/or other factors can block other opportunities in a land where there’s almost always an unemployment rate (which provides employers with a ready labor pool of people desperate for jobs). Only lately do we have a shortage of employees, which is making for more favorable working conditions for those looking for jobs.

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Religion & Politics The Privacy Invasion Collection

Fuck Yeah, I’m Civil Rights Minded!

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

Six years ago, someone wanted to know if I was civil rights minded. I didn’t understand why she was asking that. But now I get it! I finally made the mental connection. And YES, actually, I AM civil rights minded, and that should TERRIFY her to death. In fact, I hope she loses sleep at night over it!  I’m civil rights minded to the CORE. She and others put the wrong person to the test! I WILL speak out. I WILL sue! I WON’T cower to any intimidation tactics. I am STRONG. I may be suffering from anxiety-related pain, but that’s not going to stop me! I learned about some strong people in my classes at Eastern Washington University and I KNEW people who were strong and proud. I absorbed their strength. I didn’t know what I was going to do with it, but I wanted to do something to help create a better world. I focused on the environment for a while. I focused on antiwar protesting for a while. But it wasn’t until this THING happened to me, that my true colors really shined. THIS was it, my big test, to see if I could stand my ground and to see if I would resist or follow the path of least resistance. This inner battle continued on after the event, as well as the question remained: how would I share my experience without sounding like I’d totally checked out of reality for a long minute? Or trying to explain the “why” of why they did this to me. They had their reasons. They had legitimate reasons, but that’s not an excuse for what they did. I won’t say at this point what their reasons were. But trust me, they had their reasons.

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Religion & Politics The Privacy Invasion Collection

Remember, Psychological Torture is Against International Law!!!

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

When I learned about triggers in a Frontier Behavioral Health group, I thought the point of us learning about triggers is so that we could AVOID triggers, but apparently, it’s so we can be better equipped to handle our triggers. I want to go into public speaking but am imagining bad-case scenarios and of course the worst-case scenario imaginable. There is not much I can do to prepare for the worst case, which would involve receiving negative publicity and being tortured and burned to death by some crazy white supremacist, except perhaps to prepare to approach it through meditation and guided imagery. I once read about someone who was able to undergo surgery without anesthesia or pain medication because he was THAT effective at meditation. That’s some MAD skillz! I know in anxiety group they warn against “catastrophizing”, but I have good reason to believe that I could be further targeted and become a victim of a hate crime a second time around. I don’t want to back down, though. I SHOULDN’T back down. Others out there that have come before me have braved some insanely serious potential threats but did what they believed was the RIGHT thing to do for the betterment of society, despite the risks. Some have died for what they believed in but didn’t let death threats get the best of them and refused to back down. They died, but they died for a CAUSE. I survived through psychological torture, but physical torture is another beast, and hopefully I won’t have to come face to face with it. Torture should NEVER happen, psychological OR physical. What happened at Abu Ghraib was UNTHINKABLE, regardless of whether any of the suspects were or weren’t terrorists. It was sick and morally repulsive. My alleged spies didn’t use the same exact psychological torture techniques, but it was torture, nonetheless. Torture is against international law. Does that include psychological torture? And what if the torture is done by outlaws and not by the government, as I believe was the case with me? Is it still against international law THEN? Remember, it was in Spokane, WA where there existed the psychologists who were behind the psychological torture interrogation practices experimented with at Abu Ghraib. THEY invented those techniques. Spokane is the city I call home, and it is the very same city I believe I was spied on by a vigilante “justice mob” consisting of primarily neighbors and family who thought up some “lovely” torture techniques of their own to try out on me.

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Consumer Behavior The Privacy Invasion Collection

Judging the Judges

Trigger warning: rated R for foul language.

I tend to think of myself as nonjudgmental. Ya know, accepting and respectful of all human beings. But upon reflection, I’m realizing we’re ALL disapproving of others. I tend to be hypercritical of those I see as cruel towards some people. The snobs in society. Judge Judy drives me crazy the way she rudely nitpicks at certain individuals.

So, I try to be accepting of all people. We’re all different. I had a friend who drove me nuts, she was so judgmental. But she couldn’t, she wouldn’t let go of me as a friend, and I didn’t want to tell her straight up that she was goddam ignorant; I didn’t know how she’d take it. But she had something to say about everyone, including the homeless people outside her apartment building. That, despite the fact that I first met her when we were staying at the shelter. But she considers that different than living on the streets. I finally let her go…

You know, most people are alright. Well actually, peasants on the street can be just as judgmental as anyone. The gossip about others never ends, no matter what circle of humans you find yourself in.

There is a lady that I sometimes see at the bus plaza and on the bus though that I’m curious about, and have a hard time not checking out her growing outfit, as she continues to add more and more layers of frills to it, made from cut up brightly colored fabrics. I saw her recently on a hot summer day, and my how her floral garden had grown! She must attract a lot of bees. I mean, she’s interesting, that’s for sure – a walking piece of art. But I wonder, how often does she disassemble and reassemble her getup? Or does she sleep in it? She doesn’t smell bad, not that I’ve noticed, so surely, she’s taking showers. How long does it take to take off all those layers of frills and how long does it take to put them back on? Or do the ruffles stay on her jeans and shirt that she can just pull them off in a cinch? So yeah, I try not to pass judgment on her. But she’s certainly an exhibitionist and I don’t know how she can stand the summer heat in all those layers. I saw her during the record heat wave that just hit the Pacific Northwest and she was still covered in layer upon layer of frills. I’m not so curious about her, however, that I’m gonna sneak into her home and set up spy cameras to find out what her daily habits are like. That is something I’D never do.

Her outfit actually, now that I think of it, reminds me of my crazy junk-based 3D art projects that started budding and blossoming in my apartment – spreading out across my living room like wild strawberries run amuck – during the few short months when I was doing meth, before my siblings and neighbors got super curious about me, so inquisitive about me that I believe they DID put spy cameras in my home. I also remember when I was playing dress up to entertain, cheer up, and energize myself, as well as sometimes dressing up for my boyfriend. I had cut up fabrics and concocted some wild, sexy ensembles. Normally though I didn’t go out dressed super crazy. But come to think of it, one time I did. This was during my post drug-days (which was a short-lived time for me), when I thought I was being spied on, and I was determined to let it leak to the public that my 4th amendment constitutional privacy rights were being violated. I wore some kind of crazy getup. I wish I could remember what it looked like. All I can recollect is I had a collage duct taped to my outfit made from some issues of The Finger, which was an underground zine some friends and I put together. Well, I only worked on the Finger for three issues, actually. I believe I was also wearing a denim jacket with “Report Privacy Invasion! Call Crime Check!” along with Crime Check’s local phone number, even though I wasn’t really the biggest fan of “law & order.” Anyway, I went out clad like a spectacle, hoping to draw interest to my cause (my resistance to privacy invasion). I thought if I could attract attention, perhaps someone would investigate and discover that I was being spied on. I also had produced signs on blank paper using colorful sharpies and doodling that I taped to my apartment window facing a distant parking lot, in the hopes that someone would see the signs and take out binoculars to read them and view my battle for privacy rights. The regional manager told me to take the signs down as I was “defacing” the building, and I protested, insisting that I was being spied on and it was my cry for help.

Another time I crafted a huge sign and dressed up in an interesting – albeit not as spectacular as the getup I wore to my outing – outfit and started chanting “Psychological torture is against international law!” outside. A lady passing by asked me what it was all about, and I told her some people were spying on me and putting me through psychological torture. She responded with something like “Well, good luck!”

I do recall dressing slightly odd when I was in high school, and later when I was attending E.W.U. I was a radical Spokane cheerleader, against war, and had been inspired to “wear my art” by spoken-word artist Alix Olsen. But my outfits were NOTHING compared to this lady with piles upon piles of colorful frills decorating her underclothes, which remain on her regardless of the weather. I mean, someone I saw at a Mead High School reunion did comment that she liked the clothes I wore in high school, which just meant she thought my garments were “interesting”, but this was a high school with a bunch of rich preppy snobs and it didn’t take much imagination to be “different” at that school.

There was a time when my friend Orion and I ventured out, decked out in costume to distribute copies of the first ever issue of The Finger (with a middle finger printed on the front page pointed at an image of The Spokesman Review) in FRONT of The very same Spokesman Review. It was my idea to dress up initially, and I wore some kind of outfit with the bottom half of my bridesmaid dress from a friend’s wedding. It was a two-piece bridesmaid dress with a full long skirt; pastel lilac colored with metallic beads attached. I can’t remember the rest of the outfit, but I definitely remember what Orion put together. I have no idea how he did this, but somehow, he was a two-sided man. On one side he was wearing a white wife-beater ribbed tank top with red and white polka dot boxers, and on the other side he was dressed up like a 1930s businessman. He’s a true artist and did a fantastic job putting together that ensemble!

There was another time during the alleged spy operation, when I was hoping to attract FBI attention in hopes that they’d investigate my outlaw vigilante spies. I painted “DRUGS” with acrylic paint in loud colors and large print (maybe red and black? Can’t remember) on a canvas bag. I was walking near the federal building downtown. I don’t know why I thought they might be interested in helping a radical leftist out who had also been a suspected and actual drug user. I mean, they really don’t care at all about us. The feds and police let somethings slide, while inventing reasons to put more people of color, radicals, and drug users behind bars. I’m white but I had been a radical who had probably drawn at least a little bit of FBI attention in the past (well one friend though I probably had an FBI file based on what all I posted on Facebook). I was quickly becoming a temporary non-leftist however as instead of wanting a world without prison, I wanted to send a bunch of people to prison who I thought spied on me. But I reasoned we could let most everyone else outta jail!

So I guess I’ve been known to draw attention myself, although nowadays I go out dressed like a total “normal” person. You wouldn’t guess I ever had a wild streak from my current attire. Well maybe on occasion I sport a neat black & white bandana, but that’s about it. And I’m glad my junk-based art collection and scrap collection aren’t expanding exponentially and consuming my home. It’s good I’m writing instead. Although I must say, my new collection of hand-written journals IS increasing. They don’t take up as much space as my gigantic art projects, my years of accumulated paperwork, and my enormous book collection. But they do take up space. I might get around to scanning them someday to my PC, but then they’ll hog up digital space, and I’d need a roomier external drive, or an extra one. Eventually the external drives would pile up and invade my living room space!

Anyway, so yeah, I’m against judging and yet I judge people who judge, as well as notice some oddballs of society, but you know, some people really do deserve to be judged. Like white supremacists who murder black people. And x-husbands who forcibly budge their way into their ex-wives’ homes to look through the cupboards. Hell yeah, I’m gonna judge them! I’m gonna judge the fucking daylights out of them!

Speaking about people being judgmental; my sister Karrie recently called me a “nut bag” for accusing my siblings of having once spied on me. That ignorant fucking piece of shit bitch! It is NEVER okay to call someone a “nut bag”!

Categories
Consumer Behavior Religion & Politics

Drugs Should be Free!

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

So now we’re calling drug addiction a “mental illness” and forcing people on it to go to rehab. Fuck you, I’m not mentally ill for being a recovering addict. I mean I guess calling it mental illness is better than throwing us all in prison to rot for years; call it whatever you want. Not that being a person with a mental illness is a bad thing, but it should be noted that homosexuality was once considered a “mental illness” and that’s an insult to the LGBTQA+ community. Now, I’m not equating addiction with being a member of the queer community. They’re completely two different things, and addictions can definitely cause problem, but the list of addictions out there are endless, and some are legal but equally or even more destructive (such as consumer madness that’s totally wiping out our planet). But no one calls shopaholics “mentally ill” unless they sometimes suffer from mania.  I don’t have schizophrenia either. My siblings and some neighbors and a few others just thought I was some malingering druggie radical with ambitions to be in a leftist militia. Well, I wasn’t malingering actually, but I did do drugs for a while because that treated the chronic fatigue and pain, and I just might have had enough energy to achieve my big dreams of joining a leftist militia and helping to abolish capitalism. But I WASN’T malingering. I couldn’t work due to pain and fatigue. I was forced to face my limitations. And I fucking HATE facing my limitations. I’m a dreamer; there’s millions of things I’d like to do. Like founding a nonprofit that does D.I.Y. video work, D.I.Y. desktop publishing, D.I.Y. acting, D.I.Y. management, D.I.Y. EVERYTHING. But I was backing off from making any commitments out of fear of taking on too much and overdoing things, especially after reading some of the literature on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome & Fibromyalgia. But doing nothing was boring and it was totally depressing, so I tried drugs. Call my condition before drugs and sometime later post-drug use depression or somatoform disorder if you want, but don’t call it a fucking MENTAL HEALTH disorder. Don’t call it a behavioral health problem either. I find that equally offensive. It’s like saying there’s a problem with my behavior while at the same time telling me we live in a free fucking country! No, you’re only allowed to misbehave if you’re wealthy and get slaps on the wrist for your workers dying from unsafe conditions and oil leaks that destroy the environment, or for being a white supremacist that terrorizes the Black, LatinX, and Native communities. Fuck you!

Anyway, I’m not doing drugs now. Believe it or not, drug use isn’t allowed in my building or in my state (unless you call marijuana a drug, which still isn’t allowed in federally subsidized low-income housing due to federal law conflicting with state law (but don’t get started on state’s rights because that argument was once used by former slave-owners in the South bemoaning their “right” to enslave others).

Someday I’ll live in a housing unit and a state that allows drug use. And they won’t force us into treatment either and call us fucking “mentally ill.” So long as we’re not cooking meth in an apartment building and aren’t hurting anyone or guilty of gross abuse or negligence, including that of negligent abuse of babies in unchanged diapers, what’s the problem? Oh, and most of the violence that comes with the drug scene, is due to drugs being criminalized in the first place. Drug dealers are afraid of going to prison, so some of them murder narcs and rats, and anyone they’re suspicious of.

As far as most other drug-related crimes go, such as stealing and robbing to get money to pay for drugs, those problems would all go away if drugs were legal and free. And if you want to get treatment, that should be free too! Yeah, obviously if you’re not changing your babies diapers you should have your child taken away from you. If you’re beating up a partner because of your drug use, they should abandon you. I’m telling you though, that a lot of “behavioral issues” related to drug use is due to it being criminalized with a punishment of imprisonment, which by the way, due to an unfair criminal justice system targets ESPECIALLY Black, LatinX, and Native men!

Categories
Consumer Behavior Religion & Politics

The Sustainable Underwear Bill

By Myra St. Clair Baldwin

Update: We were going to go ahead and sell logo t-shirts as “essential products” but I changed my mind, and told my business partners that I just couldn’t do it. It just feels so wrong. I’m really frustrated with out was-going-to-be supplier. They had blank t-shirts available that were made in the U.S., however t-shirts printed with our logo would be printed outside of the U.S. with probably cheap labor. Even if clothing is made in the U.S. one has to do their research to make sure they’re not made with super-cheap prison labor, which is essentially slave wages. I also am frustrated with the supplier because they offer so-called eco-friendly products that are manufactured abroad using cheap labor and are shipped miles and miles around the globe, from the farming & picking of fibers and/or extraction & production of synthetic fibers to the weaving of fabrics, to the shipment abroad to where they are printed, then to where they are held in a warehouse for delivery, to the customer’s home to where they are finally shipped. If one considers all the gas & pollution that goes into shipping these products, then one can’t really consider them eco-friendly. I’m also frustrated with mass production and think people need to buy less new shit and more used items. The would-be supplier makes some items in the U.S. but not utilizing eco-friendly materials, so we’re stuck with a choice between the two. Another thing – they don’t have the option of Union-made & union-printed clothing. Additionally, if you manage to get clothes that are made from truly eco-friendly materials sourced locally using union-made labor & printing and are sold in a brick & mortar store (because shopping to individual addresses is bad for the environment), then you end up with a product that only a rich person can afford. Of course, the masses really need to be buying mostly used. We really need to transition to a primarily resale-based economy. The system we have is totally unsustainable and it leaves it up to the free market and free market consumers to make their own individual choices about what to produce and what to buy, when we’re faced with detrimental resource depletion and climate change that are an imminent danger to humans and other life on earth.

by Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

There are general considerations that sellers are supposedly supposed to make when deciding how to price stuff. Competition is supposed to be a biggie, that or going after a niche market. I say to hell with competitive pricing! How cheap SHOULD clothes be? Charging less just leads to more mass production, shipment of goods around the world, mass consumerism, and poor working conditions – including wage slavery, debt slavery, and downright slavery.

I grew up poor, so really I know what it’s like to not be able to afford something that others can. I blame society for this – for teaching us to want so much.

People should be encouraged to wear their clothes until they’re worn out, and to have their clothes patched and hemmed. The price for mending seems expensive because we’re so conditioned to cheap, sweatshop labor & underpaid cotton pickers. But poor people like me can buy a lot of our clothes used (which is more sustainable). Or we can save up for high quality clothes and wear them longer. We need of course to wear undergarments, and our undergarments should be sustainable too, and most of us don’t want to wear used underwear! Rich people should pay for our high-quality organic undergarments. We can call it “The Sustainable Underwear Bill”! Really, we should abolish poverty and wealth all together and work towards everyone having sustainable clothes, from head to toe. We need to produce, ship, and consume on a much lesser scale. But in the meantime, let’s make do with what we’ve got and scrap mass consumerism!

I’m trying to decide how much to charge for our promotional shirts, and I think $21 plus tax and shipping for t-shirts made & printed in the USA will be a good deal, and will let us make some money without selling lots and lots of t-shirts. I’d rather us think small and sell small and stand up tall!

I’m waiting to hear back from my business partners on this matter. We won’t be selling any of our nonessential products at all until this COVID-19 crisis is over because delivering packages puts the lives of others at risk and for the most part people can live with the clothes they already have. Unless they’re gaining weight, like me, or losing weight. I guess when I have to get clothes that fit then I’ll absolutely do that. But I think there’s plenty of clothing dealers out there, that the world isn’t in absolute need of our logo t-shirts. The world can wait!

I heard back from my co-founders and they agreed that $21 was a good base-line price for a t-shirt made in the U.S.A. and that we shouldn’t go any lower than that. Unfortunately our supplier doesn’t sell clothes that are BOTH sustainable and made in the U.S.A. (or preferably union-made). We’re just starting out, so the supplier we’re using makes good business sense because we don’t have to buy a whole inventory of products, our supplier will do the shipping for us, and there are no up-front costs.

If you want to shop sustainably, you might want to consider buying at least half of your clothes from a brick & mortar thrift store in your area. Other than that, be choosy who you shop from; make sure that the branded clothing you wear represents what you really believe in and want to support, and wear your clothes till they’re rags & use the rags for cleaning. I hope you will wear our t-shirts with pride, knowing that we stand with leftists worldwide for a better future tomorrow.