Religion & Politics

Reparations a Revolutionary Demand: White Solidarity With Black Power!

By Kristen Forthun

The Uhuru Solidarity Movement, created by the African People’s Socialist Party and Omali Yeshitela as a strategic component of the African Liberation Movement, goes into our white communities to win white solidarity with the African working class fighting for freedom, liberation, and global socialism in our lifetime. We get to participate in the global struggle of colonized people fighting back and winning against U.S. and European imperialism and global capitalism! This is the work to eradicate exploitation, oppression, and the brutal violence we see daily produced by a parasitic capitalist economic base, done in our names. 

The African People’s Socialist Party lead by Chairman Omali Yeshitela has been waging intense and successful struggle to make reparations a household word since the mid 1970’s. The discussion today is being debated internationally. Both of the white ruling class parties in the United States and the European parliament are engaging in the reparations question. Only when African people’s entire future and development is restored and when the African working class governs their own land, lives, and resources will we be anywhere close to paying what is owed to African people. 

November of 1982 The African People’s Socialist Party facilitated and organized the first; World Tribunal on Reparations to Africans in New York City. This was the first time the United States government has ever been put on trial. The Party organized the four-day long World Tribunal’s and presented the findings across the United States and Europe. An international panel of African judges decided on these four questions. 

  1. Is the United States guilty of genocide against African people in the U.S. as defined by the United Nations convention on the prevention and punishment of the crime of genocide? 
  1. Is the United States guilty of violation of the United Nations Charter as it relates to the U.S. treatment of Africans in the United States? 
  1. Is the United States guilty of violation of the spirit and intent of the International convention on the elimination of all forms of racial discrimination? 
  1. Is the United States guilty of violation of the spirit and intent of the International Bill of Human Rights?  

In all four charges the court found the United States government guilty with unanimous decisions. 

Many of us are aware of House Bill H.R 40 to merely get approval to conduct a study on reparations. Now that the Party has the topic of reparations trending in the media, this previously blocked bill by Nancy Pelosi is on the house floor and she is also now suddenly in favor of reparations to African people. The study was conducted extensively and ruled on in 1982 during The World Tribunals.  

The Party views reparations as a revolutionary demand and part of the revolutionary struggle. As Chairman Yeshitela argued in the July, 1982 Burning Spear Newspaper “We can target U.S. imperialism in a way which will spread the struggle of the world’s peoples to the very center of imperialism itself…The World Tribunal will offer the peoples of the world an opportunity to strike back at U.S. imperialism from within, to contribute to the development of a revolutionary process within the U.S., which will be capable of eradicating the scourge of U.S. imperialism from the face of the earth.”

A decade before the World Tribunals for Reparations to Africans, the Party created the African People’s Solidarity Committee (APSC). The APSC is an arm of the Party consisting of white people who have dedicated their life’s work to the struggle of African liberation also known as cadre. When the Party made the call to white people in 1976 the first white person to step forward was, Penny Hess who is the Chairwoman of the APSC today and quoted below. The APSC is too extensive to delve into with this article. But the Party also created an organization for the masses of white people to unite with the freedom and victory of the African working class over parasitic global capitalism, this organization is the Uhuru Solidarity Movement (USM). USM consist of political organizers, aspiring Cadre and regular white people who unite with paying reparations and being members of the organization of white people who take the advanced revolutionary stance against capitalist, colonialist, white power imperialism that wreaks havoc on the majority of humanity and the planet. Some white people may not be able to study and/or do political organizing each day but they understand the incredible significance of paying what is owed to the legitimate representatives of the African working-class struggle to create global socialism. The Party, the APSC, and USM leadership appreciate and value the people above all else as the people are the makers and shapers of history and it is the people who provide saftey, protection, strength to the revolutionary struggle to completely overturn capitalist, colonialist white power imperialism.   

African and colonized people will be free with or without white people, and reparations will be taken and paid in full. The Party has found it strategic to, instead of ignore white people, to win us to solidarity with the African Liberation Movement. The Party’s advanced revolutionary theory, African Internationalism, explains that we are not, “the devil” or “aliens” that we were starving and dying in barren, feudal Europe. Half of our population died in 4 short years to plague and we violently struck out at the rest of the world to solve our problems.  

And with all of the above stated, the campaigns and institutions related to reparations and the two arms of the Party answering the question of what to do with white people are just a few pieces of the over 100 plus institutions, organizations, campaigns and programs of the African People’s Socialist Party’s body of work over the past 50 years.  
Over the last 3 years the Party has brilliantly run two white people of APSC and USM on electoral campaigns for public office with slogans like,  Unity Through Reparations. The Party has an African woman who is a Party member, Eritha Akilé Cainion whose debates and interviews have gone viral on several occasions across social media. Her last campaign was with the slogan “Make the South Side Black Again”. The “Uhuru Candidates” as our candidates have been referred to have typically been the only candidates to also have actual political platforms in place. The Party understands that elections are only a non-violent rigged contest between sectors of the ruling class for control over the state, but these elections are a way to reach the masses and the Party takes up every opening to reach the people and bring revolutionary science and leadership to the forefront.   

Members of the Sandinista National Liberation Front (FSLN) made a call to white people in the 1980’s, that if we support the revolutionary struggle of the Sandinistas the best way to do that is to support the African Liberation struggle right here inside the belly of the beast in this illegitimate settler colony called the United States. This rings true if we support the struggle in Bolivia, Haiti, Iran, Venezuela, Mexico, the people in concentration camps in this country referred to as “Indian reservations”, the people in border prisons, all oppressed people who are fighting back against global capitalist, colonial, white power imperialism. When Spokane members of the Uhuru Solidarity Movement are at our outreach tables in Riverfront park or at the Malls those outreach tables are directly connected to the Palestinian struggle, Bolivian struggle and the struggle of all oppressed people fighting back and winning power over their own land, lives, and resources against U.S. and European imperialism.  

The African People’s Socialist Party has been fighting for and collecting reparations for decades! They have been building the institutions and organizing the capacity to be a self-governing people once again, in control of their own land, lives, and resources.  

From Chairwoman of the African People’s Solidarity Committee, Penny Hess, in her book, Overturning the Culture of Violence: “We believe that the conditions exist to construct a genuinely internationalist movement among the North American population for the 1st time… Reparations, self criticism, acknowledgement are necessary. But this must be done in the process of changing real conditions in the real world…Everything that belongs to Africa must be returned; the money, the gold, the art, the skills, the materials, the people, the talents. In return, a world is created without the built-in tension brought about by the system of masters and slaves…We in the Uhuru Movement believe that the 21st century is dawning as a new era of liberation, and represents an end to a millennium of oppression and death. At the juncture that we unite in solidarity with the African Revolution, we cease to be voluntary agents of oppression, and we participate in building a hopeful future for all mankind, ourselves included. Uhuru!” – (Pg. 561-563) 

Join this army! Join the Uhuru Solidarity Movement!  Take a stand as a white person who takes responsibility and steps to the forefront of a bright future for humanity! 

The Privacy Invasion Collection

Maybe My Alleged Spies Were Right About Me Being Bipolar

Photo by Keenan Constance on

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

I woke up at 12:30 a.m. for the 3rd time today, so I decided to stay up. I did lots and lots of planning and messaged a bunch of people about upcoming projects that we (The Deep End Northwest) need help with. Now I’m tired and I have laundry and chores to do. I didn’t do them in the middle of the night because we’re not allowed to use the laundry room in the middle of the night and we have to be super quiet at night (or early morning as I usually call it), so I sat down and did some journaling and started thinking about upcoming projects for The Deep End blog because I just heard back from a couple of people yesterday; one that’s on board and wants to do some creative work, and one that’s potentially interested and has an idea for what she wants to write; they both have ideas for what they want to write as a matter of fact. So I was really excited and it took awhile to fall asleep despite the sleeping pills.

Anyway, I’m excited about the projects and have mental energy, but don’t have physical energy and the attention span to pay attention to chores I’m doing. I don’t know if lots of mental energy constitutes being “manic” because I’m lacking in physical energy. So usually on my mental health questionnaires I write 0 for being manic because I’m not running around doing chores with lots of manic energy. But maybe mental energy counts. I don’t always understand the questions on these questionnaires. And why do they ask if you’re interested in being a reporter or interested in drama? I mean, I really like dramatic theatre plays a lot, when I can afford to go (which isn’t often). And I really would love to be an underground journalist, though I struggle with finding the time to read the news because my brain keeps coming up with lots and lots of ideas. Too many ideas and I can’t do all that work because I run out of steam.

I have a HUD inspection on Monday morning, so I really have to get it together and get this place in tip-top shape!

Maybe my alleged spies were right about me being bipolar; although they were definitely wrong about me having Multiple Personality Disorder. And I find it kind of curious that they were calling me dramatic and an underground reporter – it’s like as if they had looked over my test scores for a mental health questionnaire I had filled out in which I indicated that I did indeed like drama and was interested in being a journalist or reporter.

I’m scheduling time to recover (and not do chores) for two days following our next big event. I got to remember to ask my counselor if maybe I’m bipolar. I was trying not to get going on any projects for the last several years, because I was given the diagnosis of “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome” and “Fibromyalgia” so I was really trying hard to pace myself and not over-do it. But I really want to be working on these projects now. And I don’t want medications for bipolar disorder because they’ll hinder my creativity!

Well I was finally diagnosed with ADD (the quiet form of ADHD) so that could possibly explain some of this.

The Privacy Invasion Collection

Update: Corn Gods / When Spy-op Began

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin


Update: The alleged spy operation started between 8/10/20 and 8/19/20; possibly sooner. I just called the hospital today (June 16, 2020) to check on my admission date, remembering that it was sometime in August of 2020. The medical records department said it was August 19, 2020, which would have been nine days after 8/10/20 (the date when I messaged my ex-boyfriend’s friend who studied film production with an idea for a film about space alien GMO corn Gods colonizing the planet).

On 8/19/20 I checked myself into the hospital overnight. One of my alleged spies told me there was poison in my tobacco, that I had 5 days to live, and that I needed to go to the hospital. I realized when I was in the E.R. room that they wouldn’t be able to check me for all possible poisons. I later suspected that the alleged spy must have been pulling my leg, to get me to check myself in at the hospital, and to make me appear to be schizophrenic. When I arrived back home, I thought some of my spies had raided my apartment and taken photos and copied some documents.

It was after 8/10/15 that the alleged spy operation started, because I had emailed a friend about wanting someone to produce a film about some GMO alien corn gods that were colonizing our planet (a story I made up). I just found that message in my Messenger account today. It was also around the time that my great nephew Parker was born. My mother had called me and said that my nephew Marcus and his wife had a baby and said I should call them. I didn’t call them because I was really freaked out by the belief that my privacy was being invaded at the time.

Below is the message I wrote to my X-boyfriend’s friend, Tim Mattson (who works with an acting group in New York and produces skits & ads). The grammar and spelling are poor because I was writing fast, was on drugs (I think), and also my smart-phone was auto-correcting. I was going through a period of heightened creativity at the time and feeling very ambitious!

I never told Tim the whole story about the Alien GMO corn gods. I never wrote the whole story down. However, I just remembered that in the story the aliens were not only colonizing the planet, but they were also colonizing our bodies and brains with genetic material from the GMO corn products we were eating. They could then take over control of our brains and our bodies.

“Hey I have a movie idea and was wondering if you would like to produce it

Go [So] Monsanto corn alien gods have invaded the earth and have sent billions of space alien eggs to colonize our planet…

More to come
I need your phone number btw and mine is 509 838 7443. The plan is to use as much DIY as possible in making like from scriptures tec. Paper mache r dig costume design. Free paint form incinerator. Gotta couple of people that know how to work with scrap metals. And a theatre friend knows set design and costume design and got other ideas including who I want to write the male dialogue but need full staff to help put this all together.

I can only be creator so we would need male and female copywriters and staff people of all kinds

Message me your phone number but also call and leave is your phone number on my answering machine because my friend will be taking away my I access to Facebook and I don’t have caller ID or voicemail. Just old fashioned phone with answering machine. And I screen phone calls. Please leav area code with phone number thank you”

About Us

Myra Sue’s Biography

Hi, my name is Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin. I was born in the early 70s and have been living here in Spokane, Washington for most of my life. I became homeless in early 2016 and was diagnosed with schizophrenia shortly after becoming homeless, but suspect that there may have been a real spy operation due to suspected drug activity. I’m in housing now and currently stable, and have started a blog to write about my religious and political views, as well as to share my personal story about going through what I thought was a real spy operation. I thought I was at high risk for a real spy operation for a number of reasons, which are partially addressed in my first essay on the “Privacy Invasion Stunt” and will be further addressed in my upcoming essays about the “spy operation” or schizophrenic episode.  I used to own a short-lived bookstore on Monroe Street called “Myra Sue’s New and Used Books & Things” which some people called an “anarchist bookstore”. I also wrote some articles for the SFCC Communicator when I was a student there, and later for the underground Spokane zine named “The Finger” which had a small circulation of 2500 per issue. I helped out with Spokane Food Not Bombs for a while. I completed my Bachelor’s degree at E.W.U. where I performed in the Vagina Monologues and organized a peace rally. I also was a Spokane Radical Cheerleader for a while. After college, I spent a few months of doing call center work & filing before working in Service-Learning at SCC as an AmeriCorps Vista volunteer living on a small stipend, and I also started volunteering at One World Café in Spokane. Later I assisted with event coordination for sustainability-related events at the SCC Hagan Foundation Center for Humanities. I left my job due to severe pain and fatigue in 2010, and was diagnosed with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome and underlying depression. In the summer of 2015, I was living rent free in the apartment complex above the local shop Boo Radley’s when I started hearing voices and thought others were spying on me, which may have been the case. I also had a hoarding problem and lost my home in early 2016. After losing my home, I sometimes stayed with my parents out in the country and sometimes stayed at the downtown women’s shelter. Although I had been terrified at the idea of losing my home, I turned it into an opportunity to play pretend at being an anthropologist and investigative journalist – someone with the inside scoop on homelessness.

About Us

Myra Sue’s Views

Here is a list of many of my political and religious views, as well as ideas.·  

  • I believe in having federally funded shelters respectful of people with various religious backgrounds including the non-religious, plus open to active drug users and transgender. Basically I believe in the homeless having access to shelters that are barrier-free.
  • I believe in tent cities being legal nationwide with bathroom facilities for sanitary purposes, cooking facilities, and clean drinking water. Ideally we’d be able to house everyone, but there will always be people that get kicked out of a place and have a hard time getting into a place. There are also people who can’t stay at shelters due to mental health issues, crowded facilities, and other reasons that need a place to dwell, with access to services and public transportation.
  • I believe in having federal and state funding to subsidize bus passes for people in poverty so that people can more easily access services such as shelters and mental health services, plus so that people in poverty can go to the grocery store, plus get to work, employment services, child-care centers, and job interviews.
  • I’m against fracking and favor alternatives to the use of oil to drive our cars and industries.
  • I believe in increased funding for solar and wind energy to help with the increasing number of electric vehicles on the road, so we’re not relying to much on energy from dams and natural gas, which cause problems with the environment.
  • I believe in increased federal, state, and local funding to support public transportation. We need to be encouraging more people to ride the bus as an alternative to driving and need to have enough room on the buses to accommodate a growing number of people taking the bus to work and shopping. Some bus routes in many cities need buses that will accommodate a lot of bicycles, so that more people can bike and ride to work and elsewhere.
  • I believe in social programs and environmentally-friendly programs funded by taxing the wealthy and corporations.
  • I believe in spending lots less on our military budget and lots more on social programs benefiting the poor.
  • The United States and other nations should offer a place of refuge to migrants fleeing poverty, the effects of global climate change, war, and problems with drugs and gangs.
  • We need to change U.S foreign policy in South and Central America as well as Mexico so that people will not have so much violence and poverty to flee in the first place.
  • I’m against war with other countries, but am for a revolution by the poor against the rich & powerful.
  • I’m against religious supremacy, including Christian supremacy and Muslim supremacy.
  • I believe in federally funded free public college for all, as well as debt forgiveness for student loans.
  • I am for universal healthcare funded by taxes. 
  • I’m for freedom from religion and separation of the church and the state.
  • The United State’s National Coming Out Day should be federally recognized. Schools, the postal service, banks, and other U.S. American institutions should be closed on this day.
  • I believe in questioning authority, including that of gods, kings, presidents, and other leaders and deities. We must hold them accountable by speaking out against them. This includes the Biblical god.
  • We should have religion-free drug treatment model in addition to the AA model which has people channeling a “higher power”. I believe those with power over us are often prone to corruption & abuse of power, including various deities.
  • We should legalize all drugs and move a lot of our funding from prisons to treatment      centers, in addition to using additional funding for treatment centers. We need inpatient treatment centers free of waiting lists. I believe in replacing the AA treatment model with a model that doesn’t ask people to believe in or glorify a higher power. Make treatment centers accountable (so they aren’t just selling drugs to patients but are actually weaning people off drugs).
  • We should have consumer limits for individuals and corporations; we need to ration our global resources, including energy.
  • We need an economy based especially on resale, recycling, reusing items, up-cycling, reduction of goods produced and consumed with a focus on quality, repairing stuff, solar power, wind power, working from home, selling bicycles & bicycle parts, and more.
  • We should stop using U.S. funds for war & military weapons, and instead spend it on green jobs and a green industry, plus education and social programs.
  • We need to keep our gun rights, including the right to have assault style weapons. Assault style weapons are needed for a revolution by the poor against the rich & powerful.
  • Prisoners deserve voting rights.
  • We should legalize and regulate prostitution for people age 18 and older so prostitutes will feel comfortable reporting abuse and harassment. Non-consentual sex-trafficking needs to be criminalized & the targets of these crimes need help gaining safety & well-being. We should not jail anyone under the age of 18 but rather place them in safe places where they are free from sexual slavery, plus treat their addictions if they have any. Prostitutes should be a protected class that’s free from discrimination for people selling sex legally.
  • We should have rent controls nationwide.
  • We need food stamps for all poor people, including people not working and people in school.
  • We should have public spaces where our homeless population and others can do activities, volunteer (not a requirement), and use provided computers and phones for job hunting,  keeping a journal, blog writing and recreation (not porn). The public spaces should provide free showers, hygiene supplies, as well as a meal site that is accessible to people with allergies and vegan/vegetarian/Kosher diets. It should also provide a place for individuals to lock up their belongings while engaging in activies such as going job hunting, receiving counseling, going to doctor’s appointments, running errands, and grocery shopping.
  • We should have public spaces where ex-convicts, who struggle to find jobs and earn income, can make and sell art and crafts made from scrap materials from junk yards and left-over paint from a nearby incinerator.
  • We should transform our prisons into healthy centers for healing rather than being places with harsh punishment. Harsh punishment is ineffective at changing lives for the better.
  • We need public service announcements that encourage driving less, using public transportation, and eating less meat for the sake of our environment.
  • We need government funding for eco-friendly industries – to help them get started and to keep them going.
  • We should have low income housing for all poor people, not just poor disabled people
  • We should have federally funded soup kitchens that serve mostly vegetarian items (like organic lentils & rice as a staple food), that are welcoming to people of all religious backgrounds including atheists, plus welcoming to the transgender population and active drug users. Basically, the soup kitchens should be barrier-free.
  • LGBTQ rights should be recognized in our laws and our constitution.
  • Atheists, non-theists, and anti-theists should be free from discrimation, abuse, and harassment.
  • We need to fight against right-wing domestic terrorism.
  • We need public service announcements encouraging the philosophy of repair, reduce, recycle, and reuse.
  • We need Federal, state, and city funding for recycling. We need to have a good system for taking in and using all recyclable materials that don’t leave it to the free market.
  • We should have free college and college debt relief.
  • We need public service announcements encouraging safe sex.
  • We need public service announcements encouraging safe driving (like not driving under the influence and against distracted driving).
  • We should have vending machines distributing free condoms and free needles funded by federal, state, and city governments. We should have free condoms and dental dams available in our schools (for 4th grade – high school and college students).
  • We should have inpatient treatment centers for sex offenders, rather than putting sex offenders in detention facilities. Detention facilities are failing at rehabilitating sex offenders. Sex offenders should be labeled as having a potentially treatable psychiatric disorder.
  • We should allow polygamy for people age 18 and older. Also polygamous and polyamorous should be a protected class.
  • The United States should end its involvement in wars abroad. We should utilize our military to research & implement policies that will help with the dire threats of climate change & resource depletion.
  • We should have rights for Native American’s including adequate land plus offering reparations to American Indians.
  • We should offer reparations for African Americans.
  • We should protect our drinking water from increasing privatization.
  • The United States and other nations should allow people to grow food on their front lawns.
  • We need public service announcements encouraging people to use less water, have less grass on their lawns and to grow food on their lawns. Also, we need PSAs encouraging exiriscaping.
  • The United States should stop observing July 4th, Thanksgiving, and Columbus Day due to our history of colonization and our past policy of  “Manifest Destiny” that negatively impacted American Indians and African Americans.
  • We need consumer limits for people and corporations. We have limited resources and we must ration them.
  • We need to have tight market regulation and media regulation.
  • We need to regulate pharmaceutical prices so that medication is affordable. Actually,      our medications should be free.
  • We need to maintain a free, accessible internet.
  • I’m for animal rights.
  • I believe the Biblical God is an authoritarian dictator guilty of genocide plus cruel and unusual punishment to others. This is especially true in the Old Testament.
  • I actually don’t really believe in God or Satan or Heaven or Hell or God’s Kingdom. I believe that is all nonsense. I believe in evolution.

This list is a work in progress. I’m still working on updating this for typos, and will be adding a few more bullet points in the future. Sorry if some items are redundant. I will be fixing those as well. I also plan to eventually post an autobiography on my blog page or in a book.

The Privacy Invasion Collection

Highlights of "My Schizophrenic Episode" with Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

Not rated.

If you didn’t have time for the full-length video, here’s a shorter version with highlights that you can watch! On December 14th of 2019, Myra Sue shared her story about her schizophrenic episode or actual spy operation that she endured. She explained how she was civil rights minded, fought for the privacy rights of all people on the planet, was fighting for the rights of all women, and believed in the first amendment right of all U.S. American citizens (and ideally noncitizens) to associate freely, including identifying as a Communist or a Wiccan. Meanwhile, she heard voices and thought others were trying to violate her rights and put her through psychological torture.

She also shared her life story, including a strange church she went to as a child, working at McDonald’s, opening a leftist bookstore, attending college, writing for an underground paper called “The Finger”, making art from junk, and more.

The Privacy Invasion Collection

Schizophrenia, Possessed by Angry Spirits,Or Real Spy-op?

Schizophrenia or Possessed by Angry Spirits?

Not Rated

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

Here’s an interesting story about dolls and demons from my past, and how that’s relevant to me now:   In the 4th grade, I moved from Walla Walla, Washington to Spokane, Washington. I attended a small Christian church school (Church of God, Seventh Day) adjacent to the church we attended every Sabbath. There were only 13 students, and we each had our own cubicle facing the wall. One day I brought a doll to school, and was told that we weren’t allowed to have dolls at church, so I took my doll back home with me. I was told later that day that dolls can become possessed by demons. One teenager told me that the church took a bunch of dolls to the dump to get rid of them, and said that they heard the dolls in the back of the van talking.

I was very scared as I had dolls at home, and when I went home I threw away all of my Barbie dolls. I didn’t think about the doll-head plaque that was in the bedroom we shared with my mother (while my father was still living in Walla Walla). The next morning, my older sister, who would have been about 13 years old at the time, told me that the doll-head plaque was facing a different direction then when we went to sleep. I believed her and said we needed to throw it away. My sister then exclaimed that she heard the garbage can outside tip over in the middle of the night. I was really frightened, and feared that the dolls might walk back to our apartment. They didn’t.   

Another thing the teenage girl at that school told me was that the church and church school were located on ancient Indian burial ground, and that their spirits were angry at us for having a church and church school located there and wanted us off their property. I believed her and was scared. I later forgot about it though, as I was young and easily distracted.   

Soon after, the church changed its name to Church of Yahweh 7th Day, and the pastor and his wife started pressuring the church-goers to get baptized in the name of Yahweh as “God” was not the proper name to use, so their prior baptisms were therefore “invalid”. People started getting baptized in the name of Yahweh in a bathtub inside the church, including me (against my dad’s wishes).   

When I grew up, I later became an atheist, anti-theist, and apostate and wrote an article for my community college newspaper (The SFCC Communicator), called “Let’s Go to Hell Together” in which I spoke out against a god that was vindictive and wasn’t worthy of worship. I also started speaking out against the colonial take-over of the Americas by non-Indians and the hateful genocide my white ancestors incurred.   

Flash forward to 2015 when I developed schizophrenia (supposedly). Now some people believe that schizophrenics are actually possessed with “evil” spirits, which is a throw-back to the past. I believe that’s all nonsense.  Also, if I actually was possessed by spirits when I was baptized, it would be the spirits of ancient American Indians. I wouldn’t call the spirits of ancient Indians “evil” but rather “justifiably angry.”

I don’t really believe in spirits though, and don’t know if any Native Americans were buried on the church grounds, but this story would make for a good film, in which angry ancient Indian spirits possess dolls and later possess the bodies of white people being baptized in the name of Yahweh on ancient Indian burial ground. This would later lead to me, a possessed white girl, later speaking out against our colonial past and the massive genocide of Native Americans and speaking in favor of American Indians regaining more of their land due to ignored treaties.  

I’m hoping I’m not harmed by a white nationalist or neo-Nazi from Eastern Washington or North Idaho, who might actually believe that I am indeed possessed, by non-white spirits that they might consider to be “evil” and am not actually a schizophrenic or someone who was truly spied on. Only time will tell how much traffic my blog attracts and whether or not I attract negative, hateful attention. I’m already at risk due to being an atheist, anti-theist, and apostate. Right now, I don’t have a large audience, so I doubt these white nationalists and neo-Nazis will bother with me for the time being. But with time, it’s possible that my audience will grow and that I’ll be targeted.

Sometimes prominent figures speaking out against racism, capitalism, sexism and God become targeted. I hope to someday be a prominent figure, but don’t want to attract the attention of dangerous fascists. If someone does single me out though with threats or actual violence, they’ll only set me up as a martyr. They should consider that and back off and not fuck with this cunt-powered revolutionary commie!

See also:
Orion Moon Interviews Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin”My Schizophrenic Episode” with Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin
The Privacy Invasion Stunt Essay #1: A Carrie Brownstein Wannabe Tries on Different Hats!

The Privacy Invasion Collection

Interview with Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin of "The Deep End Spokane"

Interview with Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

Here’s the full length version of the interview.

Orion Moon of The Deep End Spokane interviewed Myra Sue of The Deep End Northwest (formerly The Deep End Spokane) about the different stages of her life.

Featuring Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin and Orion Moon
Video filmed by Karl Patterson of Patterson Productions
This documentary has not yet been edited.

Not Rated

The Privacy Invasion Collection

"My Schizophrenic Episode" with Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

Full length version with Q&A

Featuring Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin and Orion Moon. Filmed by Karl Patterson of Patterson Productions. Not Rated.

Note: There is about 20 seconds of a blank screen before the video begins. This video has not yet been edited.

“The voices may have exaggerated my speaking skills and star power, but I’ve been told I was very brave to speak about my schizophrenic episode or spy operation. I may take speech and acting classes in the future to help me with this multi-media blog that I’ll be working on more with my new partner in crime, Orion Moon.

The Privacy Invasion Collection

Schizophrenia-Related PTSD?

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

I’m back in weekly counseling as well as group therapy at Frontier Behavioral Health. I’m processing a lot of memories right now since I started writing about the “Privacy Invasion Stunt” and since I have a speaking gig coming up. I went a long time avoiding processing what I’d been through.

There’s a lot of research out there about how many with schizophrenia had trauma, especially childhood trauma in their past, but there doesn’t seem to be much or any research out there about trauma being caused BY a schizophrenic episode. The schizophrenic episode or actual spy operation I endured was VERY traumatizing. Some of the my alleged spies brought up sexual trauma I experienced in high school and rubbed it in my face. And that’s not all they did.

The Privacy Invasion Collection

Sometimes Privacy Invasion is Real!

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

The sign says “Send police! Stop stunt!” It is a Myra Sue original from when I lived at the Couer d’Alene Plaza apartment complex in Spokane, Washington. Here I am pictured outside the local shop Boo Radley’s, located next to the apartment complex. The inside of my apartment was plastered with signs, in a hope that someone who was invited to participate in an alleged spy operation , would see the signs on a remote screen and call the police to end  what I called the “Privacy Invasion Stunt.” I just recently added the anarchy symbols to the sign prior to my recent photo shoot. Most of the art work and signs from my apartment did not survive. They were left behind or later damaged by moisture in my parent’s storage. Apparently none of my alleged spies were brave enough or willing to rat out the rest of my alleged spies. One of my neighbors was very happy to see me get evicted.

Sometimes privacy invasion is a figment of our imagination, and sometimes it’s real. Although I’ve been diagnosed with schizophrenia, I still to this day believe it’s possible that I was really spied on, and I felt that I was at high risk for a real spy operation.

Here I am outside my old apartment complex, the Couer d’Alene Plaza apartments.
I was evicted in January, 2016 due to having a hoarding disorder and my apartment being overgrown with books, huge art projects made from “junk”, left-over packaging, and random paperwork I’d saved over the years.

The Privacy Invasion Collection

Myra Sue Has Worn Many Hats!

Article by Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

A few of my alleged spies wanted to know if I had Multiple Personality Disorder. It wasn’t clear right away why they were testing me for this, but  it became evident with time that they each remembered me differently and were apparently taking notes. Well, I have (just like most people) worn different hats in life – as I have functioned in different roles –  such as mother, co-worker, supervisor, student, client, patient, wife, girlfriend, loner, friend, bookstore owner, thinker, activist, shut-in, party girl, feminist, Christian, agnostic, atheist, heretic, apostate & writer. I also once played pretend at being Carrie Brownstein, and like to sometimes think of myself as a wannabe Brownstein!

The Privacy Invasion Collection

The One With All the Star Power!

Article by Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

A few of the voices I heard in my apartment in the fall and winter of 2015 before becoming homeless exclaimed that I was “The one with all the star power!” and that I was “a real capable actress”. I didn’t realize at the time that the phrase “one with star power” is often used as an insult that means someone is being disingenuous.

Although the voices were often cruel, they did inspire me to want to be an actress, which was something I wanted to be when I was a child. When I became homeless, I dreamt of becoming a paid actress for The Spokane Civic Theatre, and looked up their upcoming plays on their website. I didn’t realize that actors for The Spokane Civic Theatre actually VOLUNTEER their time.

Here I am shown above with a copy of “A Streetcar Named Desire,” a play they were planning to show at the Spokane Civic Theatre a few years ago. I didn’t know if the women’s shelter would let me stay out late for rehearsals, and I didn’t know if I really had enough long-term energy to be an actress. I kinda thought being an actress might actually be energizing, at least for a while anyway. Maybe I’ll just do a video shoot with a friend sometime and perform short skits, and see if the voices were right about my potential as a bad-ass celebrity. I’d prefer being a celebrity for the Independent Film Channel or perhaps Netflix. Something edgy like the show “Orange is the New Black”!

The Privacy Invasion Collection

The "Privacy Invasion Stunt" Essay#1: A Carrie Brownstein Wannabe Tries on Different Hats!

Illustration by Orion Moon

The “Privacy Invasion Stunt” and My Descent into Homelessness
The Fight for Privacy Rights for Every U.S. American Citizen! 
Written by Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin
Essay #1 (Introduction): A Carrie Brownstein Wannabe Tries on Different Hats!

Note: Essay #1 takes place mostly in the months leading up to me becoming homeless, while I was still residing in an apartment located in downtown Spokane, Washington. As part of this series, I will be writing about my experience with homelessness in an upcoming essay or essays. Prior to becoming homeless, I thought I was being spied on. After I lost my home, I wasn’t sure if a couple of them were still allegedly tracking me. I still think it’s possible that there was a real spy operation AND that I was also imagining some things. That is to say, that a real spy operation could have triggered my imagination, because some of the thoughts, such as believing at one point that some people had the technology to communicate with me telepathically, were clearly not real. I believe that a real spy operation may have triggered trauma-related thoughts in my head. I am writing this essay both for the people who I thought might have been spying on me, as well as a broader audience.

Forward:Thank you to all my many, many spies that gave me an experience worth writing about; making this essay (and possibly a whole collection of essays about privacy invasion and homelessness) possible, but no thank you for making my life miserable both during the spy operation and in the wake of it, when I was experiencing Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder from the ordeal, was obsessed with my memories of it, and feeling sad and angry!

I was planning on eventually writing a whole book about the single but long drawn-out schizophrenic episode or actual spy operation that I experienced, and also about becoming homeless one winter during a highly emotional imagined spy operation that interfered with my ability to get my jam-packed, low-income HUD (Housing and Urban Development) apartment cleaned up and organized to pass what would become multiple housing inspections. Annual inspections are required by HUD housing and I kept failing them, leading to subsequent inspections before I finally lost my home. Today, my language skills (which are typically impaired in schizophrenia) are pretty much intact, when not suffering from occasional brain fog associated with CFS (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) from over-doing it (or maybe it’s cyclical anxiety & depression; perhaps both) so I believe I may indeed, with time, be able to write down a whole series of essays and publish them in a book. I actually believe my language skills were ALWAYS generally intact (with the exception of brain fog which came and went), even during the evidently – per most mental health professionals I saw – imagined spy operation. I’ll have to look through my “Cinderella Butt” (a reference to a nick-name I had during the imagined or real spy operation) collection of “Privacy Invasion” memorabilia and see what I can unearth to see how coherent my language use was during my experience of “Privacy Invasion”. I recall writing down some quotes of many of the voices during the supposedly imagined spy operation plus some idealistic ideas I had for transforming prisons into places of healing and the world into a healthier place. I’ll have to analyze what I wrote sometime to see how good the grammar was despite my imagination supposedly going WAY off the deep end. Anyway, my behavioral health specialists never mentioned my language skills being disorganized. They just said that I had schizophrenia or schizoaffective disorder. So I’m not actually sure how my speech came across to real live people that really did exist, during the days when I was being subjected to a “One-of-a-Kind Social Security Field Test” (i.e. “Privacy Invasion”) as one of the voices – the voice of a neighbor-at-the-time called it. It was after all a few of the imaginary or real voices who gave me rave reviews on some of the skills they claimed to observe (that they would later say proved that I was able to work and didn’t belong in housing for the elderly and disabled) such as my “great speaking skills”, when I was in the middle of passionately lecturing them for hours and hours (while I was sitting or standing alone in my apartment) about why and how their “Mind Control Stunt”, as I called it at some point, was inhumane and unethical. I was planning on writing a whole book at once, but it’s hard to write and organize a full book. It’s difficult to write down all my thoughts on paper into a coherent, chronological format, since my memories of the episode are scattered and tend to come back to me in random order. Also, I don’t know if I have the discipline to write a whole book as I haven’t yet done so in my 45 years on this planet. I have decided instead to try and write a series of essays about my experiences with the “Privacy Invasion” and post them on my blog, one by one. Hopefully someday I’ll have a full collection of them that I can then publish in a book. If I am successful enough, perhaps I can pay the rent without any support of others. Hey…MAYBE I’ll even do some speaking gigs and traveling, if I can manage my energy and stress level and not succumb to another episode! Perhaps I’ll even someday become the famous, important civil rights activist that the voices (when they were being “nice” to me) led me to believe that I could be – and indeed I thought I was an almost-famous civil rights activist at the time. After all, I was in the middle of a battle for privacy rights that I believed would eventually lead to civil rights litigation in the COURT OF LAW, with some legal assistance from the American Civil Liberties Union (ACLU), who I thought might help with no up-front charges because it would be such an important case. I believed I would be standing up and fighting for each and every United States American citizen who was ever told that they had schizophrenia when some of them actually were, they themselves (like me), experiencing what I thought was an actual factual legitimate spy operation (as opposed to an imaginary one)!  One of the voices that I heard through the walls of my apartment or inside of my apartment – who I thought was a journalist for Spokane’s weekly paper “The Pacific Northwest Inlander” – repeatedly said that I was destined to go down in history. I believed it too, because – I reasoned – I was going to be a famous whistleblower who blew the cover on an elaborate spy operation that was set up in a way that I’d come across as schizophrenic if I ever dared to tell my tale to others! One of the voices (the voice of my apartment manager at the time, Mary Hurst) said she was going to get me put in a straightjacket for years or even permanently; so I feared opening up to counselors (I had already started counseling before the spy operation at my mother’s request) and telling them ALL of what I was experiencing.. I was afraid they’d diagnose me with a severe mental illness and send me to Eastern State Hospital where I envisioned myself wasting away (like people used to in insane asylums) in isolation in a room with nothing but boring blank white walls, no stimulation, and nothing to do but think for hours on end, with no end in sight. Now, I wasn’t initially one for wanting to increase the United State’s highly inflated prison population by putting multiple people behind bars for their participation in the alleged spy operation, as I had some anarchist ideological leanings and wasn’t a big fan of our prison system. Yet, when I was being subject to a psychologically torturous “Mind Control Stunt” as I called it, with multiple actors, I was really wanting LOT of people to be held accountable for what I believed they were doing to me and I wanted it all to STOP! If they all got busted, and were locked up in prison – then it would all end – or so I reasoned. It also felt good to imagine my sisters (who I thought played a major role in the “Spy Operation”) being dragged off to prison in handcuffs with grimacing faces. I often felt like I was being attacked by an angry hate mob, as there were the voices of many (who were apparently afraid of me, as I was afraid of them), that I believed were all in the “Spy Operation”. I recall one of the voices through the walls or in my home early on repeatedly asking “Is this a citizen ON the attack, or a citizen UNDER attack?” to which I kept replying “A citizen UNDER attack! ”Originally, when I thought about writing about the spy operation, I was going to write an “exposé”, believing that the whole spy operation was real (I still sometimes believe it was all too real). I believed that some details about my life, such as identifying as solo-polyamorous at the time, being a heretic atheist who was smoking rollies made out of “sacred” Bible paper (I couldn’t afford papers back then), living rent-free at the time in government-subsidized housing despite having a 4-year college degree, being a former Spokane Radical Cheerleader with some Anarchist leanings plus a former owner of a so-called anarchist book store, and being a hoarder which neighbors may have viewed as a fire threat, would show that I was “at high risk” for an actual spy operation. I believed the “exposé” would convince some others that I actually was spied on and continued to be spied on and would lead to a famous investigation and civil rights court battle and maybe even a highly important case in international court regarding the use of psychological torture, as torture is against international law. The voices treated me like a dangerous anarchist or communist revolutionary or even a potential terrorist, and also as someone who was faking my disability who didn’t even belong in HUD housing for the elderly and disabled in the first place. At first, the voices were just trying to chase me out of the building, and I was adamant about standing up to them and refusing to leave my home for the streets or even for another apartment complex. Then, they (the voices) were determined to find me guilty of a crime by spying on me to collect evidence against me and put me away behind bars where I would be doing time. That, or put me in a mental health institution. Or just get me kicked out of my apartment onto the streets to give me a “hand up” and not a “hand out” like some of the voices liked to say. One of the voices, the voice of my ex-husband’s father (Glenn; a wealthy, conservative stock broker who believed in the essentially unfettered reign of a free market) said they would put me at “Ground Zero” where there was only one way to go, and that was up. The latter – getting thrown out of my apartment – really did come true. I did end up homeless after a few months of battling the voices rather than de-cluttering my home with its accumulations of random stuff including gobs of books, over 20-years of collected paperwork (though some of that had been in storage that I lost due to not footing the bill), and gigantic unfinished multi-media art projects made from leftover packaging and leftover boxes that had overgrown my living space. Oh, how I desperately yearned for a small home with a big junk yard surrounded by brick walls decorated with lovely and intriguing murals painted on them (to hide the hideous junk collection outside where I’d be free to make stuff like big and small papier-mâché movie props from upcycled junk). I felt constitutionally entitled to my art projects because – I reasoned – I had a first-amendment right to freedom of expression. That, and it was really important to me to not throw anything away but rather to figure out how to upcycle stuff (although I was no longer saving my smelly food waste in the fridge to rot for a long time with the good intention of eventually taking it to the compost bins of a community garden located over a mile away that I rarely made it to on foot). I was going to help end “The Age of Garbage” by being a role model for the WHOLE WORLD of someone who was transforming all their junk, including washed and sanitized packaging, into beautiful (and interesting) works of art. I was even trying to make a “papier-mâché” cupboard out of leftover boxes (which I obtained from the nearby the dumpster out back, behind O’Doherty’s Irish Grille), to store my art supplies on, and was trying to convince my reluctant father to drive me to the incinerator to get some free leftover paint that would have otherwise gone to waste. I couldn’t talk my dad into it, because he had seen the condition of my apartment and wasn’t going to be an accessory to increasing the “mess”.

Introduction: It all began in July or August of 2015 in a former apartment building called “The Coeur D’Alene Apartments”, located in downtown Spokane, WA on the corner of Howard and Spokane Falls Boulevard; above some local shops, including ones named “Boo Radley’s” and “Atticus”. I thought some neighbors and family had set up tiny cameras in my apartment as well as a microphone that they could see and hear me with, plus speakers that I could hear them with, and I thought I could hear some of the voices through the walls as well. I believed that they were gathering together in a nearby apartment to shout at me, boss me around, poke fun at me, interrogate me, control me, and test me. Before the “Spy Operation” even started, I fancied myself “The Princess in the Attic above Boo Radleys and Atticus.” The Princess in the Attic” was a reference to the book “Still Life With Woodpecker” by Tom Robbins. The names of the local shops “Boo Radley” and “Atticus” were based on two well-known characters in the book “To Kill a Mockingbird” by Harper Lee. I lived on the 5th floor of a six-story building and had started to pretend that my apartment was an attic, kind of like the attic in the book “Still Life With Woodpecker”. My energy level, mood, and pain level had all improved for some time, so I started making art from junk. This included scraps from cigarette boxes I had saved. I had a thing for an exciting guy named Josh who was always in flight that would occasionally stop by to visit me – who LOVED the book “Still Life With Woodpecker” (it was, in fact, his most favorite book of all times). In the book there is a quirky modern-day princess who lived in Seattle who was forced into the attic of her home for a few years by her parents after she dropped a “bombshell” to an audience, including her parents, who were in the audience. She had a miscarriage in the middle of her high-school gym while cheerleading for a game. During the time she spent in the attic, she started reflecting on the packaging of her Camel cigarettes and developed an intense interest in the moon. Later she was let out of the attic and in time, became an activist with the planet’s survival and the unity of all the world’s people at heart. She also fell in love with some crazy guy nick-named “The Woodpecker” who she would later find out was a violent one-time bomber on the run who had managed for years to escape being caught. I was mostly a shut-in in my apartment while experiencing the privacy invasion, so the “Princess in the Attic…” nick-name seemed fitting. The guy named Josh that I was attracted to identified with the Woodpecker guy – always chasing after excitement – although he was no bomber (not that I’m aware of, anyway). At the time (before the “spy operation” began), I was attracted to excitement as I stayed inside the building much of the time, welcoming drama and surprise visits into my life. Back then it didn’t bother me to chase after a guy who would randomly show up and didn’t stick to a schedule as, for a while anyway, I had thrown out the calendar and the schedule planner, as I was feeling better at the time without a schedule. Actually, the calendar was on my wall being ignored, and the schedule planner was buried away in a box somewhere, as I didn’t throw any random paperwork away, not even years and years of crossed-out to do lists and lists of health symptoms, plus various other paperwork, including years of mail (a lot of it unopened). It was all somewhere in my apartment, requiring hours at a time to do an archaeological dig for some piece of information I was looking for that I could have probably found online at the nearby library (I didn’t have online access at home at the time). I acquired a great many nick-names during the “Spy Operation”. I coined some of the nick-names, such as “The Carrie Brownstein Wannabe”, based on my desire to be an actress playing an assortment of hipster-like roles just like Carrie Brownstein, who took on an array of characters in the Portland, Oregon-based show Portlandia, and who was also a member of the band Sleater Kinney. Other nicknames were coined by the voices; including “Cinderella Butt” – which was coined by the voice of my sister Joyce. “Cinderella Butt” stuck and I started calling myself “Cinderella Butt” as well, as I could envision myself wearing a spectacular full-length patchwork gown made from upcycled fabric scraps, and I also had lots of chores needing to be done to pass an upcoming housing inspection. Later, when I started making wise cracks during the perceived or real spy operation, I exclaimed that “…Cinderella Butt Wisecracks are clues…for the police department!” I was under the delusion that the police department would notice that there was what I thought to be a genuine, highly illegal spy operation against me occurring in that apartment building, and would come to my rescue, despite me being a former radical cheerleader with some anarchist leanings. I even envisioned a SWAT team landing on top of the roof of my apartment complex, and entering the building to investigate the spy operation. The voices were afraid of me (I guess for threatening loudly through the apartment walls to start a revolution if they kicked me to the curb), so I started identifying as more of a harmless moderate / somewhat liberal non-threatening Green Party person rather than a radical leftist. I also became less and less opposed to the idea of my “spies” going to prison to do some time, despite my dislike for prisons as a form of punishment and despite my “spies” being family, neighbors, and community members, many of whom I had held so dear and in high esteem prior to the spy operation. I heard lots of voices, including the voices of family, my ex-husband and some of his family, neighbors, and apartment management for the complex and possibly the regional manager for Goodale & Barbieri that the apartment management fell under (though I wasn’t very familiar with her voice, so I couldn’t be sure). I also heard the voices of previous employers and co-workers, local activists that I knew, people I knew from my previous work as an event coordinator for the Hagan Foundation Center for the Humanities, plus from my work in Service-Learning at SCC, SFCC as an AmeriCorps Vista. I even thought that someone I knew through the AmeriCorps program from the west side of the state (Bellingham, WA) showed up. Additionally, I heard the voices of other community members including someone who was a local KYRS Community Radio host, some people I knew from college, some people from the underground “alternative to the alternative” zine “The Finger” that I had helped with back in 2004, and people I met through the kinda-leftist bookstore I opened back in 2004 called “Myra Sue’s New and Used Books and Things”. Other voices I heard included the voices of some people I had gone to church with back when I was a child and pre-teenager, some of the guys I had crushes on during my life, plus a voice I associated with a journalist from “The Pacific Northwest Inlander” because I thought I heard his voice say something about being from The Inlander to neighbors, but who’s voice actually sounded like a former college professor from when I was a student at EWU (Eastern Washington University; located nearby in Cheney, WA). I even thought my sister Joyce and her husband Tony, who were  (and still are) financially “comfortable” (they take trips all over the world), flew in some people from outside of Washington State; including a couple of people I had met while working at Diedrich’s Coffee in Irvine, California (located in Orange County) years ago, during my early twenties. The voices tried to figure out if I was indeed disabled as I claimed to be, and just what my disability might be; watching me in my home and trying to determine if I was bipolar or had multiple personality disorder (as their accounts of what I was like all differed). The reason I came across differently to different people is because I have always been a work in progress – evolving over time and trying on different hats – and also due to the different roles I played in life, such as mother, girlfriend or wife, daughter, classmate, neighbor, co-worker, church member, atheist, friend, radical leftist, and so on. The voices of my sisters Joyce and Karrie – who were the ones I believed were conducting the outreach to others I knew and also ones that I didn’t know, bringing them into spy on me, and questioning them about me – were calling me “fake” (which I guessed was because I presented a different persona to different people during my lifetime). I could only imagine why the voices were testing me for bipolar disorder. I guessed that it was due to me having periods of fatigue when I would crash and periods of time when I would excitedly plan ahead – writing long detailed to-do lists of things I was going to get done – and was sometimes a person in action (though I often moved in slow motion).The voices were also doing a skills-assessment on me, while watching me in my home and interacting with me. My sister Joyce’s voice didn’t understand how I had become such a failure in life. During the so-called “Spy Operation” her voice was often sarcastic, and in that tone said “It’s as if she was set up for failure her whole life!” I didn’t catch on to the sarcasm in her voice until later during the imagined (or maybe real) spy operation. I heard some of my “spies” discussing articles that I had written for the SFCC (Spokane Falls Community College) Communicator (the school newspaper) when I attended community college at SFCC plus for The Finger, as well as papers I wrote in my four years of college, with one of the voices (a male voice) exclaiming that I had beautiful writing. The voices also praised my perceived acting skills. My sister Joyce’s voice spoke about my “star power” plus the voice of my ex-husband’s sister Jennifer would say something along the lines of “it’s more role rehearsal” whenever I took to repeating myself to the voices to explain myself or to tell them over and over that they needed to stop the abusive spy operation. Another thing they praised was my speaking skills whenever I took to lecturing them about how their “Spy Operation” amounted to psychological torture, plus I lectured them on other relevant topics including privacy rights guaranteed by the constitution, human rights, International law, etc. and about the book “1984” by George Orwell). They praised my singing and dancing skills – one of the voices called me his “star entertainer”. To psychologically survive the imagined spy operation, and try to convince my alleged spies to stop what they were doing, I tried out some different methods of coping and demonstrating to the voices. At one point, I started dancing and singing to an Oingo Boingo cassette tape I had which had some songs on it that seemed relevant to me at the time with a song titled “Wake Up! It’s 1984” as well as a song called “Who Do You Want to Be” about people putting on different personas. They praised my reporting skills (I was their “star reporter” AKA “underground reporter”). They said I could be a civil rights activist or a lawyer (apparently I proved my lawyer skills with all my counter-arguments to one of the voices that engaged me in debate that lasted for hours and hours and days and days – it was endless and extremely frustrating, to say the least).They also said I could be a philosopher (they noted that I was a free-thinker and told me I was full of wisdom – my brother Gene’s voice even called me a genius at times), a detective, speaker, a poet, and so on. One of my imagined spies, my former father-in-law Glenn, saw the hundreds and hundreds of books (many of them were actually unread or just barely started) stuffed in my apartment and decided I must be “scholarly”, so he called me his “scholarly Myra Sue”.  I developed a keen sense of humor to psychologically survive, and yelled out random funny musings through the walls (funny to me, anyway, though one of the voices I thought was coming from the hallway outside my apartment at some point expressed how he was tired of my “Cinderella Butt wise-cracks”), including some ideas I had for article subtitles for “The Onion” which prides itself on humorous fake news. The article titles related to my experiences during privacy invasion, which wasn’t fake to me, but that I thought would make for good Onion articles if cleverly written, and might eventually lead to it leaking out to the public that there was indeed a REAL spy operation against me occurring. One of the voices had warned the other voices about letting it leak to the public that there was a spy operation in the building, and I was dead set on letting it leak, though my method of yelling through the apartment walls to leak it were unconventional (and ineffective).          

In addition to some of my spies saying that I had great acting skills and therefore must be malingering, they said some other abusive things as well. My brother Gene’s voice repeatedly called me “useless” and also repeatedly said that he heard that I was as “hoe as they go”. I think his voice called me “useless” because I was just sitting and lying around much of the time during the spy operation, and also because I wasn’t working at a job or “contributing to society”. I guess his voice called me “as hoe as they go” because I was solo-polyamorous before the spy operation began and had a few different guys coming to my door to offer me their company, which raised eyebrows with some of the neighbors (though I should point out that in HUD housing, anyone not on the lease can only stay for 14 nights/year, so it makes sense to have more than one partner). The voice of my apartment manager at the time, Mary’s,  asked if I was up to the “lie test” before I heard the voices of her, my sister Karrie, and my brother David start interrogating me through the walls of my apartment building (I thought they were in the office located on the floor above my apartment). My brother David’s voice kept calling me a liar and also kept saying I was “clearly clueless” for trying to learn experientially about life (such as playing pretend at being an underground journalist, underground reporter, or an anthropologist that was studying the culture of HUD housing in a downtown apartment complex that had a lot of foot traffic.) My sister Karrie’s voice was telling me to “grow up!” for playing pretend and playing dress-up. I tried to explain myself to her, saying that it was giving me a psychological boost that was good for depression and energy level. I had also been doing some oral story-telling, comedy, and theatrical play-acting with friends prior to the spy operation, calling it “drama therapy” that I benefited from psychologically. I was at my creative peak before the spy operation “crashed the party” with my self-prescribed art projects and drama therapy. Neighbors had concerns about me personally, because (before the spy operation started), I was noisily moving stuff around all hours of the day, in an effort to get organized for my HUD inspection, and also because I had a few different visitors coming to my door (I was letting a few homeless people hang out in my apartment to be nice to them and also to learn more about Spokane’s homeless population, and the culture of homelessness). One neighbor saw me one time in the elevator when I was tipsy from wine, and thought I was high on drugs, and verbally harassed me (he was known for harassing and stalking other tenants). He also asked me if I even belonged in the building. I said “Yes” and he said “We’ll see about that!” The spy operation started within a few or several days of him saying that. After the spy operation started, I stopped taking visitors into my home (except for my counselor Janelle). I spent nearly all my time alone for several months.               

As far as the skills assessment, one thing I failed to do was cook regularly for myself – and they (the voices that plagued me) had brought in a local chef named Zack I had once dated to participate in the privacy invasion, to see if I had good cooking skills and could be a cook in a restaurant. I wasn’t eating much and I was losing weight. I had no appetite and couldn’t focus on the complex task of cooking, as I was an emotional wreck. All I could do at the time of the spy operation was focus on the voices of my spies and loudly defend myself and hope to convince the voices to stop their torturous “Mind Control Stunt.”

Religion & Politics

If the Biblical God is Real, He’s a Genocidal Dictator: Preview

Written by Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

I have more research to do before writing a reflective essay titled “If the Biblical God is Real, He’s a Genocidal Dictator!” 

Update (10/15/2019): Since I’ve been researching this topic, I have discovered that there’s other material out there making many of the same points that I make. I like the title I chose, though. This project is on hiatus for now, although I will be adding some links to other material for my readers to look at. I plan to later read some of the literature out there that includes points I was planning to make, and eventually write a reflective essay & summary of the material – including stressing some of the points I was planning to cover myself.
I’m going to add another blog post covering my experiences with schizophrenia and homelessness. I’m on medication for my schizophrenia and currently not having symptoms of schizophrenia. I will also be doing some reading about socialism, democratic socialism, fascism, and anarchy and reflecting on those as well in the future. 

I believe it’s highly unlikely that the Biblical god is real.  I believe the Bible is another mythology. However, for the purpose of my article (or book), I will be treating the Bible as if it’s the word of God and all true. If the Biblical god is real, and if the Bible truly represents his words and actions, then he is highly unethical in relationship to human rights and animal rights, and one shouldn’t want to follow him and glorify him. I believe it’s important to question leadership, and the Biblical god and Jesus forbid that people question them and they expect blind faith, plus they don’t tolerate criticism. Therefore I am writing an article examining the ways in the Biblical text in which God is genocidal, abusive and a dictator.  There are agnostics out there who believe they should follow the Biblical god in case he is real, so they don’t suffer God’s judgment and an infinitely torturous hell. I’m here to say that God and Jesus shouldn’t make threats like that to people, that people shouldn’t accept God’s cruelty that he’s demonstrated against people and animals in the past, and that they shouldn’t let God control them into blindly following him out of fear.

I found a YouTube video titled “God is an evil, malevolent, self-absorbed tyrant” that brings up some of the same points that I’ve been planning to make and more, although some of the points I’m making aren’t included. The video references a couple of the same scriptures that I have referenced and some other ones as well.
Here are some of the points that I’ve been planning to make in my upcoming book or article. This list will grow as I continue my research:

  • The Biblical god resembles a fascist dictator in many ways. It is important to know that fascist doesn’t necessarily mean anti-Semitic. I will be elaborating on this point later on down the road.
  • God is insecure and forbids idolatry (the worship of other gods) and turning away from God and Jesus. I believe in religious freedom (the freedom to choose which god(s) and/or goddess(es) one is going to worship) plus I support freedom from religion. I believe in cultural and religious freedom with the exception of not condoning human and animal sacrifice as well as violent Jihad, and this includes religious freedom and the right of societies to be free of cultural genocide. The only changes to the world religions that are and have been necessary are those that are violent to people and animals. God’s history of commanding cultural (including religious) genocide in the past is unacceptable. All God needed to do in the past was to do something about religions encouraging human sacrifice,  plus he shouldn’t have mandated animal sacrifice (which is animal abuse). Also, God shouldn’t have directed wars on others, nor should he condone war with others today. Today he should do something about violent Jihad without a war on Islam. According the Bible, “through God all things are possible”, so he should be able to take action nonviolently and without total destruction to the cultures and religions of others. I also support those who want to be free from religion, and they shouldn’t be punished by God for that decision. God needs to have more respect and tolerance for individual rights.
  • God is a genocidal maniac, he’s homophobic, and he’s a supremacist. He committed genocide twice in the book of Genesis and elsewhere in the Bible. 
  • He brought the Great Flood on nearly everyone and nearly every animal and creature living in the book of Genesis. According to Genesis 7:23 (King James Version), “…Every living substance was destroyed which was upon the face of the ground, both man, and cattle, and the creeping things, and the fowl of the heaven; and they were destroyed from the earth; and Noah only remained alive, and they that were with him in the ark.” 
  • God burnt down the cities of Sodom and Gomorrah after making threats against the people. A commonly long held interpretation of the scriptures in Genesis that told the story of Sodom and Gomorrah is that the city was destroyed because the men in the city were gay.  If this is the correct interpretation of the scriptures, that makes God homophobic and genocidal. Genesis 19:24-25 says “Then the Lord rained upon Sodom and upon Gomorrah brimstone and fire from the Lord out of heaven. And he overthrew those cities, and all the plain, and all the inhabitants of the cities, and that which grew upon the ground.” I’m not okay with God threatening members of the LGBTQ community and committing genocide against them. This is similar to what Hitler’s regime did – imprisoning thousands of homosexuals and killing many of them, and that was horrific and tragic. There are also scriptures in the Bible in which God gave the death penalty as a punishment for being gay. Mankind that lay with mankind were to be stoned to death by the congregation.  Again, this is not okay. God shouldn’t forbid homosexuality and cause people to discriminate against gays. Later in the New Testament, it became a forgivable sin if one were to follow God and Jesus. It really shouldn’t even be called a sin at all that one has to be “forgiven” for. A lot of people are naturally gay and society (as well as God) needs to accept and embrace that!
  • God destroyed the whole city of Nineveh (all that were unable to escape) for their “wickedness.” The prophet Nahum in the book of Nahum foretold of the upcoming destruction of and genocide in Nineveh. Nahum 1:8 reads “But with an overrunning flood he will make an utter end of the place thereof, and darkness shall pursue his enemies.” Nahum 1:10 says about Nineveh: “Yet was she carried away, she went into captivity: her young children also were dashed into pieces at the top of all the streets…” 
  •  The Biblical god believes he’s superior to all other gods, plus he has a “chosen people” that he said was superior. Deuteronomy 7:6 reads “For thou art an holy people unto the Lord thy God; the Lord thy God hath chosen thee to be a special people unto himself, above all people that are upon the face of the Earth.”
  • God led the children of Israel to drive out the indigenous population of the       “Promised Land” including the Canaanites and Amorites, plus to commit genocide against them. Deuteronomy 2:2 reads “And when the Lord thy God shall deliver them before thee thou shalt smite them and utterly destroy them; thou shalt make no covenant with them, nor show mercy unto them”. God wouldn’t merely accept the Israelites living peacefully on the land with the native inhabitants for the natives were culturally different from them, with different gods than them. God also wanted the children of Israel to commit cultural genocide in the promised land, commanding them to destroy all the graven images. Deuteronomy 7:5 reads “But thus shall ye deal with them: ye shall destroy their altars, and break down their images, and cut down their groves, and burn their graven images with fire.” It’s not really okay for people to drive others of their land and to kill off people who already occupy the land, and to try to violently destroy their culture. This is akin to what some of the European powers did to the natives living in the Americas as they were seeking to colonize the Americas for farm land (to be worked on by slaves) and for precious minerals such as gold. Then the “settlers” of North America (or rather “invaders”) forced many American Indians into the Christian religion and forced them to speak only in English, which is cultural genocide.
  • Jesus of the New Testament is not the nonviolent ruler he’s been made out to be by a great many. He threatened torturous eternal hell fire (cruel and unusual punishment) in the New Testament against those that don’t agree to follow him and the Biblical god.  In Matthew 25:41, Jesus says “Then shall he say unto them on the left hand, Depart from me, ye cursed, into everlasting fire, prepared for the devil and his angels.”  The Harper Collins Bible Dictionary (2011) describes hell as “a place of eternal punishment for the wicked.” Jesus and God threaten nonbelievers who don’t convert to Christianity, people who worship other gods other than the Biblical god, and people who speak out against Christianity with Judgment Day and eternal hell fire. People should be allowed to have alternate viewpoints, to be of different religions including Pagan and Hindu, and speak critically about religion and politics – including speaking critically about Christian, Judaic, and Muslim religions, without fearing God’s judgment.
  • God encouraged the children of Israel to take the “spoils of war” including women and children when they went to war against the Hittites, the Amorites, the Canaanites, the Preizzites, the Hivites, and the Jebusites (those dwelling in the land that God promised to the Israelites). Deuteronomy 20:14 states “But the women and little ones and the cattle, and all that is in the city, even all the spoil thereof, shalt thou take unto thyself; and thou shall eat the spoil of thine enemies, which the Lord thy God hath given thee.”
  • God kept harshly punishing the Israelites with many wars against them for worshiping other gods.  A great many of them suffered and died, while many were repeatedly driven out the land where they lived. In 587 BCE, Jerusalem was destroyed by the Babylonians, which God allowed to happen as punishment. Lamentations 1:5 says about the city of Jerusalem”…for the Lord hath afflicted her for her multitude of transgressions…” Lamentations 2:22 says      “Thou hast called as in a solemn day my terrors round about, so that in the day of the Lord’s anger none escaped nor remained – those that I have swaddled and brought up hath mine enemy consumed.” 
  • In Old Testament days, God commanded that people be stoned to death for a large variety of  “transgressions”.  In Deuteronomy 18-21, Moses (who’s speaking for God) says that if parents have any sons that rebel against them, that the men should stone them to death. Violence against one’s children is unacceptable! I will be adding more details to this point in the future.
  • When God helped Moses take the children of Israel out of Egypt, where they were being held in slave bondage, he didn’t just bring down violent wrath on Pharaoh and Pharaoh’s slave drivers. He brought wrath upon all Egyptians, even Egyptian servants, and all of the Egyptian children, and on all the living creatures of Egypt. Only the children of Israel and their animals were spared from the torturous plagues. God could have delivered the Israelites from slavery without cruelty upon all of the people of Egypt, but he wanted to put on a big show to drive fear of the Lord into people, that they might believe in him. God hardened Pharaoh’s heart ten times and he didn’t have to. He could have softened Pharaoh’s heart so that the pharaoh would let the people go without violently torturing all of the Egyptians and without all the death that God caused in Egypt. 
  • God is guilty of animal cruelty. He destroyed nearly all animal life (plus the lives of other creatures) in the Great Flood. He also brought sorrow and death upon all the fish in the river, all of the Egyptians’ cattle, and upon the frogs he sent into Egypt, as well as other living creatures when he brought the Ten Plagues against Egypt. God also mandated animal sacrifice as repentance for sin and he could have chosen to forgive these so-called sins without requiring animal sacrifice.
  • God suppresses the opposition, is abusive and threatening, plus uses fear of his judgment to control the population. God and Jesus have forbidden blasphemy (criticizing God or God’s vital force). The children of Israel were severely punished with having to roam the wilderness for forty years plus were often times killed for daring to speak out against God.  In the Old Testament, one of God’s laws that he gave the Israelites included a law in which blasphemers were to be stoned to death. Leviticus 24:16 states “And he that blasphemeth the name of the LORD, he shall surely be put to death, and all the congregation shall certainly stone him: as well as the stranger, as he that is born in the land, when he blasphemeth  the name of the LORD, shall be put to death.” In the New Testament, there was some leniency showed towards blasphemy, except for      that of the Holy Ghost.  Matthew 12:31 states “Wherefore I say unto you, All manner of sin and blasphemy shall be forgiven unto men: but the blasphemy against the Holy Ghost shall not be forgiven unto men.” What exactly is meant by this latter verse is debatable, as various Christian or Catholic religions define Holy Ghost differently. Not allowing criticism against a leader’s power or “vital force” and severe punishment of one’s critics is what a dictator does. We shouldn’t accept living under the dictatorship of God. We should be free to question God’s power without fear of judgment. 
  • God expects to be glorified and wants people to bow down before him and sing his praises. I will be elaborating on this point.
  • The Bible is God’s propaganda he uses to have great influence in the world. I will be elaborating on this point in the future.
  • Not only is God homophobic, but he’s also sexist. In Genesis 3:16, God speaks to Eve (after she and Adam ate the forbidden fruit from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil), saying “… thy desire shall be to thy husband, and he shall rule over thee.” I will be adding more evidence to support this point in the future.
  • God accepted slavery in the old testament, which he regulated with special rules, rather than telling people not to commit slavery at all. When the children of Israel went into the land of the Canaanites and others and waged war on them, God permitted them to take slaves. I will be elaborating on this in the future.
  • God expects people to have blind faith in his leadership. God’s son Jesus healed some sick people, but only if they had strong faith in him. People who dared to question him were considered to be of little or no faith, and were left to be sick and/or physically disabled. People who don’t put their faith in God and Jesus will be subject to judgment and hell. This unfairly punishes people who think critically about the nature of God and the universe.
  • God also controls people with the promise of great rewards in the afterlife. Many accept poverty in the present, and accept abusive work conditions while being placated by the future that God has promised them if they repent, obey him, have faith in him, and accept their current fate. God has set aside a luxurious exclusive place for those that blindly follow him and Jesus and wait patiently for the big day to come. 
  • God has strict commandments, including commandments controlling people’s sexual behavior and marriages. I will be elaborating on this in the future.

Sorry that some of this is redundant. It is a work in progress!

I was going to title this article or book “God is a Fascist Dictator”, but the meaning of fascism is very complex and unique to the 20th century, so I couldn’t quite make a case for it. But there are many ways in which God is like a fascist dictator and I will be pointing these out as I continue my research.