Introducing Myra Sue (Who You Don’t Know…YET!)
By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin, manager of The Deep End Northwest (a blog you’ve probably never heard about…YET).
I initially wrote this for The Onion, only to find out that The Onion doesn’t accept contributions from outside writers. I will have to educate myself about publications that DO accept outside contributions. Anyway, this was intended to be funny, even though it’s about a painful experience I underwent. This is written in third person...
Myra Sue from Spokane WA (now labeled the “All American City” reportedly remembers reading an article in the Pacific Northwest Inlander in 2015 (A Spokane weekly newspaper) about someone’s storage getting bought out and treasures being found, such as brochures. This reminded her of her own storage (which had brochures in it) getting bought out, because one of two guys stole her $80 her parents had given her to pay the storage bill she was behind on as well as her bottle of Xanax. She claims she only read this one article, well perhaps another, in all of 2015 because she was busy studying drug culture “experientially.” Despite reading this article in The Inlander, she claimed to be completely unaware of Shar Lichty’s 2015 run for Spokane mayor – even though she reportedly knew Shar Lichty from The Peace and Justice Action League of Spokane – until an alleged spy operation was underway (which, coincidentally started on or around the time of Spokane’s primary election on August 4, 2015”. She alleges one of her alleged spies told her and that is how she found out about Lichty’s run. She said because she was so caught up in “studying” drug culture, she didn’t know what was going on in the world outside. “I was busy studying drug culture like a cultural anthropologist or investigative journalist, plus I was busy scrapping and creating upcycled art from junk plus shuffling my stuff around like a Rubik’s cube to make everything fit so I wouldn’t be evicted for hoarding,” she said. “Then I got spied on by neighbors, apartment management, the maintenance guy, my hateful siblings as well as my hateful ex-husband’s well-to-do family, and a few others. They spied on me because they suspected me of drug abuse and drug-related activity and my neighbors were stalking and harassing suspected drug users and their friends.” She says also that her snobby sister Joyce Pardi’s husband has a close family member who’s retired FBI, and they may have thought she was a potential “terrorist” threat due to identifying as an Anarchist and threatening to anyone within earshot of her while she was talking loudly through her apartment walls that if they (Republicans in general and the apartment management) kept throwing people out on the street without food stamps and housing, then she was going to start a street revolution. She reports saying this so that her apartment manager would think twice about evicting her to avoid the beginning of class war, but that it backfired on her. She claims her alleged spies put her through psychological torture, which is against international law. While you are just now getting acquainted with Myra Sue, she says she plans to go down in history, fighting for the privacy rights of all druggies and suspected druggies. “The 4th Amendment applies to us to and I plan to fight the privacy rights for ALL U.S. citizens; even noncitizens!” While she has yet to make history and have her claims investigated by the media, she plans to write a book about her experience as well as her entire life and use her earnings to hire a private investigator to investigate her case. “I’m not a schizophrenic, and I’m going to prove that!” She’d ultimately like to see her alleged spies get busted.