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The Privacy Invasion Collection

Mental Health Consumer Educators @ E.W.U.

In this video, I explain what all consumer educators for Eastern Washington University’s Occupational Therapy Program do to help educate their students and destigmatize mental illness for their students.

Myra St. Clair Baldwin, Consumer Educator for E.W.U.

Transcript:

Hi everyone, my name is Myra St. Clair Baldwin and I’m a Consumer Educator for Eastern Washington University’s Occupational Therapy Program.

The E.W.U. Occupational Therapy program put together a panel and Q&A session as part of an eight-session program in which eight people in recovery from mental illness, including myself, will be working with students in the program.

When I arrived at the orientation classroom, the instructor’s assistant gave us some paperwork to fill out and sign, which I completed. Then we learned more about what we’d be doing. The sessions last about two to three hours each. The next two sessions after the panel discussion, three students who I’ll be working with the rest of the quarter will be practicing doing an assessment on me, which should be interesting. So long as I don’t have brain fog from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, then I believe I’ll ace any cognitive tests they give me. I’ll let you know later how I did. The panel discussion and Q&A itself was in front of an audience of about 30 or 40 students. The two sessions following the assessments are in the Spokane community, at the locations of our choosing. I plan to show the students I’m working with the Huntington Park, down by the Spokane River, behind the city hall for one session. For another session, I plan to show them a subsect of downtown, starting with the apartment building above Boo Radley’s novelty shop and Atticus Coffeehouse, where I thought I was spied on. I will also be showing them the bus plaza and the construction for the new downtown library, letting them know what amazing features the new library is going to have, which will include a video recording studio, a music recording studio, and a broadcasting studio, all of which will be available to be checked out by the public. I may get to do this job again in future years and might book a tour with the students of the new downtown library after it reopens, as that would be exciting! There’s a couple more sessions after that, including a session about completing a discharge plan and ending with a presentation the students give that we’re invited to. I plan to wear my t-shirt for mine & my partners’ blog “The Deep End Northwest” to one of the assessments as well as to the student presentations, in the hopes that the students will decide to take a peek at our blog out of curiosity.

After the orientation, we were escorted to the classroom where the students were. It was a small classroom, but the class was jam-packed. There wasn’t one empty desk. I went first, so I could get it done and over with, as I was anxious. This ended up being a good idea, because it freed me to listen more intently to the other panelists, whose stories were powerful. Although I knew most of them, I wasn’t familiar with their stories. Even though I was nervous, I think I did all right. Not perfect, but I don’t have a lot of experience yet on stage, so my talk wasn’t bad, considering. I ended up having to catch my breath a few times during the speech, but I wasn’t as anxious as I had expected.

After we each spoke, there was a Q&A. I managed to make the students laugh a couple of times, which reminded me that I sometimes have a sense of humor, which is what helped me survive the alleged privacy invasion that I endured. After the questions, the instructor said we were free to do a meet & greet with the students, but I was dying to go pee, and blurted out “I…I gotta take a leak!” That made the students laugh. There’s a backstory to why I now say “I gotta take a leak” rather than “I need to use the bathroom” or “I gotta go pee.” I’ll save that story for another day.

It’s really cutting edge what the instructor is doing, having some of us in mental health recovery work with the students. It helps humanize mental illness for the students. It’s an invaluable and cost-effective way for the students to “get it.” We each get paid $300 for the full contract. It was the instructor’s idea back in 2007, and there’s only a few universities now doing it. She’s presented at conferences and tried to sell others on how cost-effective it is and how it helps destigmatize mental illness for the students but hasn’t gotten a lot of buy-in yet. Perhaps in time, more universities will implement similar programs.

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

E.W.U. Speech for Occupational Therapy Students

Featuring Myra St. Clair Baldwin, Consumer Educator for E.W.U.

Transcript:

A couple of weeks ago, I gave the following speech to a classroom of Occupational Therapy students at Eastern Washington University, to whom my mental health history and medications were relevant. I will be working with three of the students for the remainder of the quarter as a consumer educator. Since I gave the speech, I’ve decided to wait until spring to participate in the writing group mentioned.

May I present…the one, the only…Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin (that’s me)!

Hello everyone! My name is Myra St. Clair Baldwin. I have a bachelor’s degree in Humanities from E.W.U., am a former AmeriCorps Vista project coordinator for SCC, write for a blog, attend the Evergreen Club, and have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, PTSD, ADD, anxiety, plus chronic fatigue syndrome and Fibromyalgia and/or somatoform disorder and have chronic insomnia. In the past I had a problem with depression that manifested as sadness and later as anger. I still have issues with anger sometimes from the PTSD, but most people wouldn’t know it, unless they see my Facebook posts in which I lash out at some family members who I believe out of ignorance spied on me and subjected me to psychological torture for suspected drug use (and indeed I had been taking drugs for a few months), as well as suspected malingering. The real or imagined spy operation eventually led to my diagnosis of schizophrenia, which may be a misdiagnosis. I believe family, former neighbors who wanted me out the apartment complex for being a so-called “nuisance neighbor”, apartment management, the maintenance guy, and some family members of my controlling ex-husband were all involved in the alleged spy operation. I actually have a blog named “The Deep End Northwest” which includes a page with posts about the spy operation or schizophrenic episode, named “The Privacy Invasion Collection”, in addition to some pages discussing some leftist-leaning socio-political issues and mass consumerism.

I take Neurontin for Fibromyalgia and anxiety, Prozac for Fibromyalgia and depression, Risperidone to help with hypomania (which I started taking due to the Schizophrenia diagnosis and continue to take for hypomania), Amitriptyline to help prevent migraines, Xanax to help me sleep, Montelukast for hay fever, Flonase & Cetirizine to help with allergies, as well as Thera Tears and some kind of eye drops. Occasionally I take Sumatriptan for migraines.

I am currently attending the Evergreen Club through Frontier Behavioral Health in which I do unit work in the business unit such as working on some of the PowerPoint presentations, Facebook posts, and phones, plus I am involved in committee work. Additionally, I attend social activities with the Supportive Living Program (which I prefer to the social activities at the Evergreen Club) and am receiving counseling through Frontier Behavioral Health, in which we’re going to be focusing on systematic desensitization to prepare me for public speaking, engaging with the greater community, and pursuing a lengthy court battle with the potential for negative publicity as I intend to pursue litigation against my alleged spies. Although I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, a couple of counselors at Frontier Behavioral Health and a few friends believe it’s possible I really WAS spied on. I’m extremely terrified of suffering under the stress of a lengthy court battle as well as the stress of any negative publicity I might receive. I also plan to start attending a couple of groups at Frontier Behavioral Health: one for anxiety and one on emotional expression & reflection, called “Rise Up!” based on the book “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown, PhD and LMSW.

I’m currently working on preparing a case report in which I’ll be sharing my whole story as well as laying out circumstantial evidence to present to a legal team in the hopes that they will further investigate my case and help me bring my alleged spies to justice as well as help me receive substantial compensation for months of illegal spying in my home along with psychological torture as they said a lot of cruel things to me. The alleged privacy invasion lasted for quite a few months.

I am an aspiring writer and speaker and started attending a few writing group sessions on Zoom available through Spark Central Library, a nonprofit library in Spokane. Now the group is meeting in person, and I keep skipping out on it, due in part to my anxiety as the last time I was in group it triggered my anxiety and my muscles got really tense and knotted up.

I plan to begin sharing my story of recovery through the Evergreen Club to civic organizations in Spokane for the Public Relations committee, in hopes that some civic organizations will speak well of us to area businesses, as we need to gain additional transitional employment positions in the community to be in compliance with Clubhouse International standards. This is important because Clubhouse International provides us with our accreditation. Others from the Evergreen Club will be sharing their stories to civic organizations as well. Systematic desensitization, including speaking to occupational students here at E.W.U. should help with my anxiety about speaking and sharing my personal story with others and further help prepare me for the fight of my life in court and in the public arena.

One of the committees I’m on at The Evergreen Club is the Social Justice committee. This provides me with meaningful work, and providing meaningful work is a key component of Clubhouse International, of which The Evergreen Club is part of. Furthermore, I have a history of civic engagement in the community. In the past I helped organize Service-Learning fairs for SCC as an AmeriCorps Vista project coordinator and sustainability-related events for the SCC Hagan Center for the Humanities. I resigned due to severe pain and fatigue, and it was a few years later that I experienced a real or imagined spy operation that left me feeling traumatized and led to my diagnosis of PTSD.




Categories
Consumer Behavior Religion & Politics

Drugs Should be Free!

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

So now we’re calling drug addiction a “mental illness” and forcing people on it to go to rehab. Fuck you, I’m not mentally ill for being a recovering addict. I mean I guess calling it mental illness is better than throwing us all in prison to rot for years; call it whatever you want. Not that being a person with a mental illness is a bad thing, but it should be noted that homosexuality was once considered a “mental illness” and that’s an insult to the LGBTQA+ community. Now, I’m not equating addiction with being a member of the queer community. They’re completely two different things, and addictions can definitely cause problem, but the list of addictions out there are endless, and some are legal but equally or even more destructive (such as consumer madness that’s totally wiping out our planet). But no one calls shopaholics “mentally ill” unless they sometimes suffer from mania.  I don’t have schizophrenia either. My siblings and some neighbors and a few others just thought I was some malingering druggie radical with ambitions to be in a leftist militia. Well, I wasn’t malingering actually, but I did do drugs for a while because that treated the chronic fatigue and pain, and I just might have had enough energy to achieve my big dreams of joining a leftist militia and helping to abolish capitalism. But I WASN’T malingering. I couldn’t work due to pain and fatigue. I was forced to face my limitations. And I fucking HATE facing my limitations. I’m a dreamer; there’s millions of things I’d like to do. Like founding a nonprofit that does D.I.Y. video work, D.I.Y. desktop publishing, D.I.Y. acting, D.I.Y. management, D.I.Y. EVERYTHING. But I was backing off from making any commitments out of fear of taking on too much and overdoing things, especially after reading some of the literature on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome & Fibromyalgia. But doing nothing was boring and it was totally depressing, so I tried drugs. Call my condition before drugs and sometime later post-drug use depression or somatoform disorder if you want, but don’t call it a fucking MENTAL HEALTH disorder. Don’t call it a behavioral health problem either. I find that equally offensive. It’s like saying there’s a problem with my behavior while at the same time telling me we live in a free fucking country! No, you’re only allowed to misbehave if you’re wealthy and get slaps on the wrist for your workers dying from unsafe conditions and oil leaks that destroy the environment, or for being a white supremacist that terrorizes the Black, LatinX, and Native communities. Fuck you!

Anyway, I’m not doing drugs now. Believe it or not, drug use isn’t allowed in my building or in my state (unless you call marijuana a drug, which still isn’t allowed in federally subsidized low-income housing due to federal law conflicting with state law (but don’t get started on state’s rights because that argument was once used by former slave-owners in the South bemoaning their “right” to enslave others).

Someday I’ll live in a housing unit and a state that allows drug use. And they won’t force us into treatment either and call us fucking “mentally ill.” So long as we’re not cooking meth in an apartment building and aren’t hurting anyone or guilty of gross abuse or negligence, including that of negligent abuse of babies in unchanged diapers, what’s the problem? Oh, and most of the violence that comes with the drug scene, is due to drugs being criminalized in the first place. Drug dealers are afraid of going to prison, so some of them murder narcs and rats, and anyone they’re suspicious of.

As far as most other drug-related crimes go, such as stealing and robbing to get money to pay for drugs, those problems would all go away if drugs were legal and free. And if you want to get treatment, that should be free too! Yeah, obviously if you’re not changing your babies diapers you should have your child taken away from you. If you’re beating up a partner because of your drug use, they should abandon you. I’m telling you though, that a lot of “behavioral issues” related to drug use is due to it being criminalized with a punishment of imprisonment, which by the way, due to an unfair criminal justice system targets ESPECIALLY Black, LatinX, and Native men!

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Drunkcast Show The Privacy Invasion Collection

Schizophrenia or Privacy Invasion?

Video Clip

Were the privacy rights of Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin of The Deep End Northwest in Spokane, WA violated or did she have a schizophrenic episode? You decide.

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Drunkcast Show The Privacy Invasion Collection

Snitches & Spies

Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin, Sean P. McKelvey, and Orion Moon of The Deep End Northwest discuss snitches and spies.

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Consumer Behavior Drunkcast Show Religion & Politics The Privacy Invasion Collection

Drunkcast #2: “Potcast” Podcast

The Deep End Northwest… is a blog covering life, politics, and social issues such as anti-theism vs. religious supremacy, disease, hunger, global climate change & the environment, peace & war, capitalism vs. socialism, big business & worker’s rights, homelessness, mental illness & privacy issues, drug addiction, art, racism, reparations. LBTQA+ issues, gun rights & responsible ownership, legalization & decriminalization of recreational drugs , and more from a leftist perspective.

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

Maybe My Alleged Spies Were Right About Me Being Bipolar

Photo by Keenan Constance on Pexels.com

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

I woke up at 12:30 a.m. for the 3rd time today, so I decided to stay up. I did lots and lots of planning and messaged a bunch of people about upcoming projects that we (The Deep End Northwest) need help with. Now I’m tired and I have laundry and chores to do. I didn’t do them in the middle of the night because we’re not allowed to use the laundry room in the middle of the night and we have to be super quiet at night (or early morning as I usually call it), so I sat down and did some journaling and started thinking about upcoming projects for The Deep End blog because I just heard back from a couple of people yesterday; one that’s on board and wants to do some creative work, and one that’s potentially interested and has an idea for what she wants to write; they both have ideas for what they want to write as a matter of fact. So I was really excited and it took awhile to fall asleep despite the sleeping pills.

Anyway, I’m excited about the projects and have mental energy, but don’t have physical energy and the attention span to pay attention to chores I’m doing. I don’t know if lots of mental energy constitutes being “manic” because I’m lacking in physical energy. So usually on my mental health questionnaires I write 0 for being manic because I’m not running around doing chores with lots of manic energy. But maybe mental energy counts. I don’t always understand the questions on these questionnaires. And why do they ask if you’re interested in being a reporter or interested in drama? I mean, I really like dramatic theatre plays a lot, when I can afford to go (which isn’t often). And I really would love to be an underground journalist, though I struggle with finding the time to read the news because my brain keeps coming up with lots and lots of ideas. Too many ideas and I can’t do all that work because I run out of steam.

I have a HUD inspection on Monday morning, so I really have to get it together and get this place in tip-top shape!

Maybe my alleged spies were right about me being bipolar; although they were definitely wrong about me having Multiple Personality Disorder. And I find it kind of curious that they were calling me dramatic and an underground reporter – it’s like as if they had looked over my test scores for a mental health questionnaire I had filled out in which I indicated that I did indeed like drama and was interested in being a journalist or reporter.

I’m scheduling time to recover (and not do chores) for two days following our next big event. I got to remember to ask my counselor if maybe I’m bipolar. I was trying not to get going on any projects for the last several years, because I was given the diagnosis of “Chronic Fatigue Syndrome” and “Fibromyalgia” so I was really trying hard to pace myself and not over-do it. But I really want to be working on these projects now. And I don’t want medications for bipolar disorder because they’ll hinder my creativity!

Well I was finally diagnosed with ADD (the quiet form of ADHD) so that could possibly explain some of this.

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

Highlights of "My Schizophrenic Episode" with Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

Not rated.

If you didn’t have time for the full-length video, here’s a shorter version with highlights that you can watch! On December 14th of 2019, Myra Sue shared her story about her schizophrenic episode or actual spy operation that she endured. She explained how she was civil rights minded, fought for the privacy rights of all people on the planet, was fighting for the rights of all women, and believed in the first amendment right of all U.S. American citizens (and ideally noncitizens) to associate freely, including identifying as a Communist or a Wiccan. Meanwhile, she heard voices and thought others were trying to violate her rights and put her through psychological torture.

She also shared her life story, including a strange church she went to as a child, working at McDonald’s, opening a leftist bookstore, attending college, writing for an underground paper called “The Finger”, making art from junk, and more.

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

Schizophrenia, Possessed by Angry Spirits,Or Real Spy-op?

Schizophrenia or Possessed by Angry Spirits?

Not Rated

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin


Here’s an interesting story about dolls and demons from my past, and how that’s relevant to me now:   In the 4th grade, I moved from Walla Walla, Washington to Spokane, Washington. I attended a small Christian church school (Church of God, Seventh Day) adjacent to the church we attended every Sabbath. There were only 13 students, and we each had our own cubicle facing the wall. One day I brought a doll to school, and was told that we weren’t allowed to have dolls at church, so I took my doll back home with me. I was told later that day that dolls can become possessed by demons. One teenager told me that the church took a bunch of dolls to the dump to get rid of them, and said that they heard the dolls in the back of the van talking.

I was very scared as I had dolls at home, and when I went home I threw away all of my Barbie dolls. I didn’t think about the doll-head plaque that was in the bedroom we shared with my mother (while my father was still living in Walla Walla). The next morning, my older sister, who would have been about 13 years old at the time, told me that the doll-head plaque was facing a different direction then when we went to sleep. I believed her and said we needed to throw it away. My sister then exclaimed that she heard the garbage can outside tip over in the middle of the night. I was really frightened, and feared that the dolls might walk back to our apartment. They didn’t.   

Another thing the teenage girl at that school told me was that the church and church school were located on ancient Indian burial ground, and that their spirits were angry at us for having a church and church school located there and wanted us off their property. I believed her and was scared. I later forgot about it though, as I was young and easily distracted.   

Soon after, the church changed its name to Church of Yahweh 7th Day, and the pastor and his wife started pressuring the church-goers to get baptized in the name of Yahweh as “God” was not the proper name to use, so their prior baptisms were therefore “invalid”. People started getting baptized in the name of Yahweh in a bathtub inside the church, including me (against my dad’s wishes).   

When I grew up, I later became an atheist, anti-theist, and apostate and wrote an article for my community college newspaper (The SFCC Communicator), called “Let’s Go to Hell Together” in which I spoke out against a god that was vindictive and wasn’t worthy of worship. I also started speaking out against the colonial take-over of the Americas by non-Indians and the hateful genocide my white ancestors incurred.   

Flash forward to 2015 when I developed schizophrenia (supposedly). Now some people believe that schizophrenics are actually possessed with “evil” spirits, which is a throw-back to the past. I believe that’s all nonsense.  Also, if I actually was possessed by spirits when I was baptized, it would be the spirits of ancient American Indians. I wouldn’t call the spirits of ancient Indians “evil” but rather “justifiably angry.”

I don’t really believe in spirits though, and don’t know if any Native Americans were buried on the church grounds, but this story would make for a good film, in which angry ancient Indian spirits possess dolls and later possess the bodies of white people being baptized in the name of Yahweh on ancient Indian burial ground. This would later lead to me, a possessed white girl, later speaking out against our colonial past and the massive genocide of Native Americans and speaking in favor of American Indians regaining more of their land due to ignored treaties.  

I’m hoping I’m not harmed by a white nationalist or neo-Nazi from Eastern Washington or North Idaho, who might actually believe that I am indeed possessed, by non-white spirits that they might consider to be “evil” and am not actually a schizophrenic or someone who was truly spied on. Only time will tell how much traffic my blog attracts and whether or not I attract negative, hateful attention. I’m already at risk due to being an atheist, anti-theist, and apostate. Right now, I don’t have a large audience, so I doubt these white nationalists and neo-Nazis will bother with me for the time being. But with time, it’s possible that my audience will grow and that I’ll be targeted.

Sometimes prominent figures speaking out against racism, capitalism, sexism and God become targeted. I hope to someday be a prominent figure, but don’t want to attract the attention of dangerous fascists. If someone does single me out though with threats or actual violence, they’ll only set me up as a martyr. They should consider that and back off and not fuck with this cunt-powered revolutionary commie!

See also:
Orion Moon Interviews Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin”My Schizophrenic Episode” with Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin
The Privacy Invasion Stunt Essay #1: A Carrie Brownstein Wannabe Tries on Different Hats!

Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

"My Schizophrenic Episode" with Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

Full length version with Q&A

Featuring Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin and Orion Moon. Filmed by Karl Patterson of Patterson Productions. Not Rated.

Note: There is about 20 seconds of a blank screen before the video begins. This video has not yet been edited.

“The voices may have exaggerated my speaking skills and star power, but I’ve been told I was very brave to speak about my schizophrenic episode or spy operation. I may take speech and acting classes in the future to help me with this multi-media blog that I’ll be working on more with my new partner in crime, Orion Moon.

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

Schizophrenia-Related PTSD?

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

I’m back in weekly counseling as well as group therapy at Frontier Behavioral Health. I’m processing a lot of memories right now since I started writing about the “Privacy Invasion Stunt” and since I have a speaking gig coming up. I went a long time avoiding processing what I’d been through.

There’s a lot of research out there about how many with schizophrenia had trauma, especially childhood trauma in their past, but there doesn’t seem to be much or any research out there about trauma being caused BY a schizophrenic episode. The schizophrenic episode or actual spy operation I endured was VERY traumatizing. Some of the my alleged spies brought up sexual trauma I experienced in high school and rubbed it in my face. And that’s not all they did.

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

Myra Sue Has Worn Many Hats!

Article by Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

A few of my alleged spies wanted to know if I had Multiple Personality Disorder. It wasn’t clear right away why they were testing me for this, but  it became evident with time that they each remembered me differently and were apparently taking notes. Well, I have (just like most people) worn different hats in life – as I have functioned in different roles –  such as mother, co-worker, supervisor, student, client, patient, wife, girlfriend, loner, friend, bookstore owner, thinker, activist, shut-in, party girl, feminist, Christian, agnostic, atheist, heretic, apostate & writer. I also once played pretend at being Carrie Brownstein, and like to sometimes think of myself as a wannabe Brownstein!