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Religion & Politics

Make Violence Against Sex Workers a Hate Crime

By Myra St. Clair Baldwin

We need legislation at the local, state, and national level that would make violence against sex workers and perceived sex workers a hate crime.

I believe my 4th Amendment Constitutional Rights were violated and that I was subject to psychological torture (a form of assault) due not only to some drug use, but due to suspected prostitution as well. I believe what happened to me was a hate crime, and the murder of the Asian female sex workers was not only a hate crime against Asians and women, but a hate crime against sex workers as well. I am working on a report which I will be releasing soon and am hoping to be interviewed by the media so that I can talk about my own experience and urge action, as well as gain support from agencies that are working for the rights of sex workers.

I urge you to please contact your representatives at the city, state, and national level, urging them to work on legislation in this matter.

Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

Why I Didn’t Take the Job

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

Wanna know the reason I didn’t take the part-time job at Big Lots a few years ago? First of all, I didn’t know what a grocery “recovery” person did, so I went with Sean Stoudt, staff member from The Evergreen Club, to check the job out. After seeing the amount of physical labor I’d have to put into kneeling, bending, and reaching, I was afraid of having a fibromyalgia flare-up if I worked there. That’s for starters. The reason I didn’t tell people this was because I had been mostly pain-free for a long time, and wasn’t even sure it was Fibromyalgia, as I’d also been diagnosed with Somatoform disorder. But since I wasn’t super anxious about my health at the time (as I was trying to keep my mind off my physical health as much as possible), I didn’t want to have to explain that reason to others. Besides, people are ignorant about both Fibromyalgia AND Somatoform Disorder.

Another reason I didn’t want the job was because I was afraid of not making friends and being treated by other workers as being “special” for having a schizophrenia diagnosis, that or being met with disbelief, since I wasn’t obviously schizophrenic so long as I kept my mouth shut about the alleged spy-op. On a side note, I question the schizophrenia diagnosis myself and believe their WAS a real spy-op.

A third reason was that I was afraid of who I might run into while working there, including my ex-husband or his ex-wife. My ex-husband used to threaten me when we were married, and once he threatened to throw me out in the middle of the street outside the bookstore I owned (this was about three years after our divorce). Both my ex-husband and his ex-wife used to bully me, causing me severe anxiety whenever the phone rang.

As if that weren’t enough, I didn’t think the job would keep me distracted from my painful memories of the alleged spy-op, and I’d be on the bus for two hours both ways in addition to a 30-minute car ride with my dad each way (as my parents live out in the country). That’s a two ½ hr. trip each way to work at a four-hour job! And what would I spend my time thinking about while I was on the bus? But of course, the alleged spy-op. No thanks! I was much happier spending my time volunteering at The Evergreen Club doing a variety of mentally engaging activities in a safe and comfortable workplace, around super nice people.

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

My Story of Mental Health Recovery & Clubhouse

I sound nervous half-way through this speech, but it works, because I’m talking about my anxiety. When I was on the E.W.U. panel, I was afraid of sounding anxious. Then I heard someone talk who’s speech was full of anxiety and emotion, and realized that she was the most powerful speaker that afternoon. And part of my anxiety is about not sounding perfect. To address this anxiety, I actually need to put myself out there DESPITE not sounding perfect. With time, I will perfect my skill, and hope to realize my full potential.

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

Mental Health Consumer Educators @ E.W.U.

In this video, I explain what all consumer educators for Eastern Washington University’s Occupational Therapy Program do to help educate their students and destigmatize mental illness for their students.

Myra St. Clair Baldwin, Consumer Educator for E.W.U.

Transcript:

Hi everyone, my name is Myra St. Clair Baldwin and I’m a Consumer Educator for Eastern Washington University’s Occupational Therapy Program.

The E.W.U. Occupational Therapy program put together a panel and Q&A session as part of an eight-session program in which eight people in recovery from mental illness, including myself, will be working with students in the program.

When I arrived at the orientation classroom, the instructor’s assistant gave us some paperwork to fill out and sign, which I completed. Then we learned more about what we’d be doing. The sessions last about two to three hours each. The next two sessions after the panel discussion, three students who I’ll be working with the rest of the quarter will be practicing doing an assessment on me, which should be interesting. So long as I don’t have brain fog from Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, then I believe I’ll ace any cognitive tests they give me. I’ll let you know later how I did. The panel discussion and Q&A itself was in front of an audience of about 30 or 40 students. The two sessions following the assessments are in the Spokane community, at the locations of our choosing. I plan to show the students I’m working with the Huntington Park, down by the Spokane River, behind the city hall for one session. For another session, I plan to show them a subsect of downtown, starting with the apartment building above Boo Radley’s novelty shop and Atticus Coffeehouse, where I thought I was spied on. I will also be showing them the bus plaza and the construction for the new downtown library, letting them know what amazing features the new library is going to have, which will include a video recording studio, a music recording studio, and a broadcasting studio, all of which will be available to be checked out by the public. I may get to do this job again in future years and might book a tour with the students of the new downtown library after it reopens, as that would be exciting! There’s a couple more sessions after that, including a session about completing a discharge plan and ending with a presentation the students give that we’re invited to. I plan to wear my t-shirt for mine & my partners’ blog “The Deep End Northwest” to one of the assessments as well as to the student presentations, in the hopes that the students will decide to take a peek at our blog out of curiosity.

After the orientation, we were escorted to the classroom where the students were. It was a small classroom, but the class was jam-packed. There wasn’t one empty desk. I went first, so I could get it done and over with, as I was anxious. This ended up being a good idea, because it freed me to listen more intently to the other panelists, whose stories were powerful. Although I knew most of them, I wasn’t familiar with their stories. Even though I was nervous, I think I did all right. Not perfect, but I don’t have a lot of experience yet on stage, so my talk wasn’t bad, considering. I ended up having to catch my breath a few times during the speech, but I wasn’t as anxious as I had expected.

After we each spoke, there was a Q&A. I managed to make the students laugh a couple of times, which reminded me that I sometimes have a sense of humor, which is what helped me survive the alleged privacy invasion that I endured. After the questions, the instructor said we were free to do a meet & greet with the students, but I was dying to go pee, and blurted out “I…I gotta take a leak!” That made the students laugh. There’s a backstory to why I now say “I gotta take a leak” rather than “I need to use the bathroom” or “I gotta go pee.” I’ll save that story for another day.

It’s really cutting edge what the instructor is doing, having some of us in mental health recovery work with the students. It helps humanize mental illness for the students. It’s an invaluable and cost-effective way for the students to “get it.” We each get paid $300 for the full contract. It was the instructor’s idea back in 2007, and there’s only a few universities now doing it. She’s presented at conferences and tried to sell others on how cost-effective it is and how it helps destigmatize mental illness for the students but hasn’t gotten a lot of buy-in yet. Perhaps in time, more universities will implement similar programs.

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

E.W.U. Speech for Occupational Therapy Students

Featuring Myra St. Clair Baldwin, Consumer Educator for E.W.U.

Transcript:

A couple of weeks ago, I gave the following speech to a classroom of Occupational Therapy students at Eastern Washington University, to whom my mental health history and medications were relevant. I will be working with three of the students for the remainder of the quarter as a consumer educator. Since I gave the speech, I’ve decided to wait until spring to participate in the writing group mentioned.

May I present…the one, the only…Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin (that’s me)!

Hello everyone! My name is Myra St. Clair Baldwin. I have a bachelor’s degree in Humanities from E.W.U., am a former AmeriCorps Vista project coordinator for SCC, write for a blog, attend the Evergreen Club, and have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, PTSD, ADD, anxiety, plus chronic fatigue syndrome and Fibromyalgia and/or somatoform disorder and have chronic insomnia. In the past I had a problem with depression that manifested as sadness and later as anger. I still have issues with anger sometimes from the PTSD, but most people wouldn’t know it, unless they see my Facebook posts in which I lash out at some family members who I believe out of ignorance spied on me and subjected me to psychological torture for suspected drug use (and indeed I had been taking drugs for a few months), as well as suspected malingering. The real or imagined spy operation eventually led to my diagnosis of schizophrenia, which may be a misdiagnosis. I believe family, former neighbors who wanted me out the apartment complex for being a so-called “nuisance neighbor”, apartment management, the maintenance guy, and some family members of my controlling ex-husband were all involved in the alleged spy operation. I actually have a blog named “The Deep End Northwest” which includes a page with posts about the spy operation or schizophrenic episode, named “The Privacy Invasion Collection”, in addition to some pages discussing some leftist-leaning socio-political issues and mass consumerism.

I take Neurontin for Fibromyalgia and anxiety, Prozac for Fibromyalgia and depression, Risperidone to help with hypomania (which I started taking due to the Schizophrenia diagnosis and continue to take for hypomania), Amitriptyline to help prevent migraines, Xanax to help me sleep, Montelukast for hay fever, Flonase & Cetirizine to help with allergies, as well as Thera Tears and some kind of eye drops. Occasionally I take Sumatriptan for migraines.

I am currently attending the Evergreen Club through Frontier Behavioral Health in which I do unit work in the business unit such as working on some of the PowerPoint presentations, Facebook posts, and phones, plus I am involved in committee work. Additionally, I attend social activities with the Supportive Living Program (which I prefer to the social activities at the Evergreen Club) and am receiving counseling through Frontier Behavioral Health, in which we’re going to be focusing on systematic desensitization to prepare me for public speaking, engaging with the greater community, and pursuing a lengthy court battle with the potential for negative publicity as I intend to pursue litigation against my alleged spies. Although I was diagnosed with schizophrenia, a couple of counselors at Frontier Behavioral Health and a few friends believe it’s possible I really WAS spied on. I’m extremely terrified of suffering under the stress of a lengthy court battle as well as the stress of any negative publicity I might receive. I also plan to start attending a couple of groups at Frontier Behavioral Health: one for anxiety and one on emotional expression & reflection, called “Rise Up!” based on the book “Rising Strong” by Brene Brown, PhD and LMSW.

I’m currently working on preparing a case report in which I’ll be sharing my whole story as well as laying out circumstantial evidence to present to a legal team in the hopes that they will further investigate my case and help me bring my alleged spies to justice as well as help me receive substantial compensation for months of illegal spying in my home along with psychological torture as they said a lot of cruel things to me. The alleged privacy invasion lasted for quite a few months.

I am an aspiring writer and speaker and started attending a few writing group sessions on Zoom available through Spark Central Library, a nonprofit library in Spokane. Now the group is meeting in person, and I keep skipping out on it, due in part to my anxiety as the last time I was in group it triggered my anxiety and my muscles got really tense and knotted up.

I plan to begin sharing my story of recovery through the Evergreen Club to civic organizations in Spokane for the Public Relations committee, in hopes that some civic organizations will speak well of us to area businesses, as we need to gain additional transitional employment positions in the community to be in compliance with Clubhouse International standards. This is important because Clubhouse International provides us with our accreditation. Others from the Evergreen Club will be sharing their stories to civic organizations as well. Systematic desensitization, including speaking to occupational students here at E.W.U. should help with my anxiety about speaking and sharing my personal story with others and further help prepare me for the fight of my life in court and in the public arena.

One of the committees I’m on at The Evergreen Club is the Social Justice committee. This provides me with meaningful work, and providing meaningful work is a key component of Clubhouse International, of which The Evergreen Club is part of. Furthermore, I have a history of civic engagement in the community. In the past I helped organize Service-Learning fairs for SCC as an AmeriCorps Vista project coordinator and sustainability-related events for the SCC Hagan Center for the Humanities. I resigned due to severe pain and fatigue, and it was a few years later that I experienced a real or imagined spy operation that left me feeling traumatized and led to my diagnosis of PTSD.




Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

My #1 Issue & Action Plan

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

This is the agenda I came up with based on the SOLVED application, a Dialectical Behavioral Therapy tool for problem solving. My problem is that I believe I was spied and subjected to torture, and I want justice. I discussed this agenda with my counselor, who seemed supportive.

  1. Continue to work on my case report. Demonstrate a motive. Show the who, what, when, where, and why. Examine the character and history of some of my alleged spies.
  2. Work on systematic desensitization with Stephanie A.
  3. Prove my competencies to others and document them in my case report. Look for opportunities to build and demonstrate competencies, especially in the areas of written communication, oral communication, relationship-building, collaboration, organizing, and other tasks. Demonstrate ability to organize thoughts, offer editing advice (which I did for the EGC self-study), etc.
    1. Presentations for The Evergreen Club (EGC):
      1. Present to the Spokane Homeless Coalition.
      1. Present to other area agencies and civic organizations.
      1. Perform speaking tours for the EGC in which I share parts of my personal story (although there will be parts of my story that I WON’T be sharing publicly).
    1. Consumer Educator Position for the Eastern Washington University (E.W.U.) occupational therapy program (limited, contractual employment).
    1. Publications @ EGC.
    1. Writing group (when I’m ready).
    1. Eventually: Work with Spokane group MAC (first focus on other committee work and presentations for EGC).
    1. Gain competency on speaking both through practice, and by learning speaking skills.
  4. Show my case report to other individuals and ask them if they believe I was possibly subject to a real spy operation. Ask for a letter indicating whether or not they believe it’s possible I really was spied on, including talking points discussing their opinion with supportive evidence. Ask Stephanie A, MJ @ EGC, Laurel @ EGC, Rex @ EGC, Diana @ EWU, Rachael A., Chris Snell, Elaine Terdal, Elizabeth Ross, Orion Moon, Sean McKelvey, Kristen, agencies, reporters, and journalists. Have a sit-down meeting with Stephanie A, MJ of EGC, Laurel White of EGC, Rexanne of EGC, as well a couple of counselors who believed it was possible that I was spied on, to review my case report and interview me.
  5. Collect letters of support.
  6. Show my case report along with letters of support to a legal team and ask that they further investigate by looking into phone calls and talking to people. Ask them if they can hire a psychologist or psychiatrist with a PhD to sit down with me, review my case report and my medical records to determine if they believe it was possible that I was spied on.
  7. Address anxiety about potential publicity by seeking moral support from others. Gradually share more of my story to certain individuals and in group (though asking my group leaders not to document everything I share). Ask agencies that will be sympathetic to my cause for moral support as well if/when my case goes to trial and during any potential publicity via the press and social media that results.
  8. During times of negative publicity (assuming there is negative publicity), reach out to people who have pledged moral support.
  9. Be sure to celebrate my progress including small action steps towards my goal. Post my celebrations on Facebook.
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The Privacy Invasion Collection

My Multi-Pronged Strategy

Here is the strategy I presented to my counselor at Frontier Behavioral Health today. She didn’t have any suggestions for improvement. She never tells me I’m schizophrenic when I present stuff like this to her, and she seems supportive of my desire to pursue justice and have my case properly investigated.

The Evergreen Club and my position as a Consumer Educator for E.W.U. (limited contractual work) will provide me with opportunities to develop and demonstrate many competencies, which will be important in building my case report and in gaining letters of support from others who believe me, which I will be presenting to a legal team along with the case report. The case report will explain the who, what, when, where, and why of the alleged spy operation, as well as explore the character and history of a few of my prime suspects, plus show many of my competencies that are outside the norm for someone with a diagnosis of schizophrenia.

 I will especially be seeking out opportunities to develop and demonstrate competency in presenting, writing, editing, organizing, collaborating, and communicating, showing organized thought as well as demonstrating critical thinking skills. At the Evergreen Club, I am engaging in committee work, will be giving club tours, in which I will share my personal story (just parts of it as there is stuff that I won’t be opening up about publicly when I represent the Evergreen Club), will plan and prepare presentations to other organizations, including the Spokane Homeless Coalition and civic organizations.

I offered editing advice a recent self-study at the Evergreen Club, a study that we must routinely submit to Clubhouse International to keep our accreditation.  I prepare Power-Point presentations and Facebook posts for The Evergreen Club, as well as do front desk work and some other work as needed and as my mood or energy level dictates.

Furthermore, I plan to run a book club for the book Their Eyes Were Watching God, engage in writing and sharing with the Drop in & Write group through Spark Central (although that’s currently on hold as I need to do more work on anxiety & developing my competency at written communication & vocabulary), and later on in the future I plan to work with the Spokane organization Music, Art, & Creativity (MAC). That’s on hold as well as I have lots of other work to do before I get to that, plus need to gradually work on systematic desensitization before I’m ready to participate.

Furthermore, I will be planning on how to cope with a stressful court battle and potential publicity. I will gain the verbal support of other agencies by sending them my case report along with letters of support to various agencies who might be sympathetic to my cause and have my back.

Gaining support will provide me with other individuals and agencies to reach out to when I am in heightened states of distress during the potential court case along with any potential negative publicity from the press and social media that arises as a result of pursuing legal action.

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Uncategorized

Chasing the Police

On the way to the bus stop, following my counseling appointment, I came across a couple of police on bicycles, who were riding around in the parking lot of Seven Eleven, at the corner of 2nd Avenue & Division in Spokane, Washington. As I continued to walk, they started following some guy. They didn’t seize the guy or force him on the ground or anything, but they were trying to direct him to turn. So, I decided to follow and make sure the cops didn’t get violent, as the guy was totally nonviolent. I had to keep turning the corner to follow them, and at some point I had to run a little, in my denim skirt with a bell-shaped bottom which folded up in the middle, my lavender long-sleeved hippy shirt w/ a couple of buttons, my green and white flowered bandana tied around my head like a headband, and my big red-framed sunglasses and mask blocking my face (it was 50’s, 60’s, & 70’s day at The Evergreen Club). I kept up for a while and happened upon my niece Katie’s x-boyfriend Justin, who I had seen earlier in the day on my way to the counseling appointment, on a litter-filled street near the mental health buildings and the House of Charity shelter for men. So, I stopped to say hello to Justin. I don’t know how he recognized me earlier in the day, come to think of it, underneath the mask and the sunglasses. He must have recognized my voice. He had asked to buy a cigarette earlier and I offered to give him one. He said he liked my outfit. Then he said, “Are you Myra?” and I was like “Yeah.” I didn’t recognize him immediately. I hadn’t seen him since maybe 2012 when him and Katie were together and lived with me and my ex-boyfriend Adam for a month, so I was like “Who are you?” He said “Justin.” I was like, oh wow, Katie’s ex-boyfriend. He was doing some work on his old car and his hands were all greasy. He presents as super nice, but this guy, when he got back into meth years ago, he got to the point where he was selling black-market AK47s. So, you know, he’s kinda dangerous. I wasn’t afraid of him though. The way it works on the street, generally, is that so long as you don’t fuck with someone, they won’t fuck with you. Now, narcing on someone is dangerous. That can get you beat up or even killed. But Justin was being nice and pleasant and had no reason to fuck with me, so I wasn’t afraid. And he didn’t seem manic or anything. If he was on drugs, I couldn’t tell. Anyway, when I saw him earlier, I didn’t say much as I told him I had to hurry off to my appointment. About 1 ½ hours later, when I coincidentally saw him again, I stopped and chatted for a bit. I told him I had been following the police to make sure they didn’t hurt anyone. If they did, I planned to film it. That’s how George Floyd’s perpetrator got busted. It was all caught on tape. So, I told Justin this, and told him to keep an eye on the cops. He said he would. He told me that a man outside the House of Charity had gotten shot by a police officer 17 times, after pulling out some sword or something. Yeah, so that guy died. There was nothing to see today, however. No news is good news! Anyway, the 2nd time I saw Justin, he started talking about his car and some car part. That’s when he lost me, and it was hot outside, and I was sweating in my long-sleeve blouse, so I told him I had to jet off to catch my bus. I went to the wrong bus stop (the bus was on detour), but I did see the police circling around in some parking lot. Then I caught the bus and that was the end of my adventure. I guess I’m not much of a street journalist, because there was nothing to report! Oh, but I did do my TOTALLY brave thing for the day, my “alternate rebellion” as they say in Dialectical Behavioral Therapy treatment for treating addiction.

Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

Street Justice Vs. Legal Justice

My friend and former business partner, Sean McKelvey, thinks if I pursue legal justice against my alleged spies and get them put in prison, that I’m no better then them. The way I see it though, is that they were threatening to send ME off to prison, so I want to turn the tables around on them and threaten to send THEIR sorry asses off to prison and use the law their care so fucking much about against THEM! Besides, if I pursued street justice, I would be the one who would end up in prison, and society wouldn’t learn an important lesson, being that it’s NEVER okay to violate someone’s constitutional privacy rights AND it’s NEVER okay to terrorize and psychologically torture someone. I don’t care WHAT you suspect they’re doing in the privacy of their own home. I don’t care WHAT you heard about them. I don’t care what they actually ARE doing in the privacy of their own home. We ALL have fucking rights, damn it. And they were so hell-bent on trying to prove that I was malingering, telling me what great SPEAKING and THINKING skills I had. Damn it, I was great at speaking because I was so goddamn passionate about my fucking RIGHTS. I was ANGRY! I was on FIRE! Also, I wasn’t on stage in front of a live audience, so I didn’t have stage fright, and I had grown accustomed to their presence. When I was lecturing them, I was doing it from the HEART! That’s why my “speeches” I gave them were so goddamn powerful! I’m not simply in this to teach THEM a powerful lesson, I’m in this to teach SOCIETY a fucking lesson! That’s why this is so important to me. This is everything to me. This is URGENT! I’ll put my “speaking” skills and “thinking” skills to work to prove that THEY are indeed the REAL criminals!

For the record, Sean thought it would be justice enough to write and publish a book about their abusive behavior. But I disagree. It isn’t enough for their crimes against me. And I’m not one to pursue street justice anyway. That was never an option for me. By the way, Sean said there’s no WAY I’m schizophrenic. He believes I was spied on. And they had their reasons.

Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

The Big Important Scary Thing…

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

So, the big important thing I’m going to be doing in the next several weeks is – I wish it was abolishing capitalism, but no, that’s over my head – is preparing a document to present to a legal team that makes a compelling argument that my privacy rights were violated, that I was put through psychological torture, and that I was a victim of a hate crime. Putting this document together and preparing to speak to a legal team is anxiety-inducing, so I’m going to be working with therapists and am going to try what’s known as “systematic desensitization.” I’ve already started the process of desensitization by sharing parts of my story publicly on Facebook and on my blog. I’m also participating in a public group outside the safety of the mental health community, though I haven’t shared a lot yet with them about my personal story, but it is a writing group, and I will be writing about myself, and sharing parts of it. I ended up in pain from the anxiety last time I was in group, and I’m going to have to embrace some physical pain as I expose myself to triggers. So long as I understand what’s causing the pain, so I don’t freak out about the pain and end up in extra bad pain from health anxiety, I’ll manage. And I have Xanax I can take when it gets really bad. If I get the publicity I’m pursuing, I could end up in severe pain for a few days when news breaks out. But I’ll have supporters I can lean on. I can call First Call for Help if I need to. I can take Xanax and practice coping techniques. I’ll be learning and reviewing lots of coping strategies in the next several weeks as I plan to attend group therapy at Frontier Behavioral Health. So, I will be arming myself with solid steel armor. And I will be taking lots of busy breaks to distract myself from all of this as well. What I won’t be doing much of is resting as that just increases my anxiety because I spend my resting time thinking and overthinking stuff, which really isn’t restful at all. Sometimes I sleep well, and sometimes my sleep is shitty. I’ll just have to deal with it. btw, I’m reading “Fight Club” which is one of my many distractions right now. Got other projects going on at The Evergreen Club. I might be at risk of going overboard, which I have a history of doing, but I’m trying to stay as busy and preoccupied as possible when not spending time constructively addressing my “situation.”

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The Privacy Invasion Collection

This is My Revenge

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

My neck muscles are all knotted up. My nerves through-out my fascia are whining obnoxiously, like a children’s choir. But I’ve got to do this. I’ve GOT to! This is my revenge. I must teach them a lesson if it kills me! I could get tied down at the stake and burned alive, a human roast. I might get tortured first. But I want them to wake up one day; fully wake up to the realization of “Oh my God, what have I done?” I want that to sink in, deep down into their bones. I want every ounce of fiber in their entire body singing my song in a squealing voice, laden with a high-pitched synthesizer sound. I want their stomach muscles tight and achy much as mine, and I want them to feel so sick to their stomach that they vomit puke-green slime. I want them to cry out to the great heavens, begging forgiveness for what they have done; for what I have had to endure.

Categories
Consumer Behavior

Everywhere is Far by Bus

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

I had to go back to the cellphone repair shop, because having the new microphone placed on my smartphone replaced didn’t do the trick. The repair shop wasn’t far away, but when you have to take the bus around, every place feels far away. You have to wait outside in in the snow, the rain, during allergy season; even during record heat waves followed by wildfire season which means poor air quality. I would have had to take only one bus to get there, but then I would have had to wait for up to 30 minutes to catch the bus coming back.

Now some people are big on the idea of shopping local and shopping small, but most of them have cars. Try shopping small and having to take multiple buses all over the way to buy different things. Also, you have to bring a shopping cart with you, and the bus driver might make you fold it up before boarding, which is a hassle. A packed bus will sometimes drive by someone with a cart full of groceries or someone in a wheelchair due to insufficient space.

I’m not saying all this to scare you away from riding the bus. We absolutely all need to get on the bus! Our planet is dying. Billions of creatures and lots of people are dying! There’s a reason though why I prefer to shop along the bus route and take only one, maybe two buses, despite believing in the idea of “going local.” Of course, nonlocal food travels an average of 1500 miles from the farm to your plate, so maybe I’m not doing the world a favor by not having a car. Not that I can afford a car or all local, organic food on my budget, anyway.

Luckily, I do live near a local corner store. But this corner store mostly sells nonlocal liquor, tobacco, junk food, and soda – so they’re not to be idealized by any means. I do support them, though. I sadly have a tobacco addiction, plus I like an occasional beer or two (and they do have decent beer for cheap). But by no means are they great role models as they cash in on our addictions. If cocaine were legal, they’d cash in on that too.

I’m actually for the decriminalization of drugs due to the violent nature of our war on drugs and due to people having to spend so much time behind bars due to their addictions. But at the same time, I don’t necessarily like people profiting off of our addictions. It’s no different than cashing in on our shopping addictions, our eating addictions, our gambling addictions, and our addiction to oil. Though honestly, some people get by only because they sell drugs, due to their own tragic addictions or due to socioeconomic factors and/or other factors can block other opportunities in a land where there’s almost always an unemployment rate (which provides employers with a ready labor pool of people desperate for jobs). Only lately do we have a shortage of employees, which is making for more favorable working conditions for those looking for jobs.

Categories
Religion & Politics The Privacy Invasion Collection

Fuck Yeah, I’m Civil Rights Minded!

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

Six years ago, someone wanted to know if I was civil rights minded. I didn’t understand why she was asking that. But now I get it! I finally made the mental connection. And YES, actually, I AM civil rights minded, and that should TERRIFY her to death. In fact, I hope she loses sleep at night over it!  I’m civil rights minded to the CORE. She and others put the wrong person to the test! I WILL speak out. I WILL sue! I WON’T cower to any intimidation tactics. I am STRONG. I may be suffering from anxiety-related pain, but that’s not going to stop me! I learned about some strong people in my classes at Eastern Washington University and I KNEW people who were strong and proud. I absorbed their strength. I didn’t know what I was going to do with it, but I wanted to do something to help create a better world. I focused on the environment for a while. I focused on antiwar protesting for a while. But it wasn’t until this THING happened to me, that my true colors really shined. THIS was it, my big test, to see if I could stand my ground and to see if I would resist or follow the path of least resistance. This inner battle continued on after the event, as well as the question remained: how would I share my experience without sounding like I’d totally checked out of reality for a long minute? Or trying to explain the “why” of why they did this to me. They had their reasons. They had legitimate reasons, but that’s not an excuse for what they did. I won’t say at this point what their reasons were. But trust me, they had their reasons.

Categories
Religion & Politics The Privacy Invasion Collection

Remember, Psychological Torture is Against International Law!!!

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

When I learned about triggers in a Frontier Behavioral Health group, I thought the point of us learning about triggers is so that we could AVOID triggers, but apparently, it’s so we can be better equipped to handle our triggers. I want to go into public speaking but am imagining bad-case scenarios and of course the worst-case scenario imaginable. There is not much I can do to prepare for the worst case, which would involve receiving negative publicity and being tortured and burned to death by some crazy white supremacist, except perhaps to prepare to approach it through meditation and guided imagery. I once read about someone who was able to undergo surgery without anesthesia or pain medication because he was THAT effective at meditation. That’s some MAD skillz! I know in anxiety group they warn against “catastrophizing”, but I have good reason to believe that I could be further targeted and become a victim of a hate crime a second time around. I don’t want to back down, though. I SHOULDN’T back down. Others out there that have come before me have braved some insanely serious potential threats but did what they believed was the RIGHT thing to do for the betterment of society, despite the risks. Some have died for what they believed in but didn’t let death threats get the best of them and refused to back down. They died, but they died for a CAUSE. I survived through psychological torture, but physical torture is another beast, and hopefully I won’t have to come face to face with it. Torture should NEVER happen, psychological OR physical. What happened at Abu Ghraib was UNTHINKABLE, regardless of whether any of the suspects were or weren’t terrorists. It was sick and morally repulsive. My alleged spies didn’t use the same exact psychological torture techniques, but it was torture, nonetheless. Torture is against international law. Does that include psychological torture? And what if the torture is done by outlaws and not by the government, as I believe was the case with me? Is it still against international law THEN? Remember, it was in Spokane, WA where there existed the psychologists who were behind the psychological torture interrogation practices experimented with at Abu Ghraib. THEY invented those techniques. Spokane is the city I call home, and it is the very same city I believe I was spied on by a vigilante “justice mob” consisting of primarily neighbors and family who thought up some “lovely” torture techniques of their own to try out on me.

Categories
Consumer Behavior The Privacy Invasion Collection

Judging the Judges

Trigger warning: rated R for foul language.

I tend to think of myself as nonjudgmental. Ya know, accepting and respectful of all human beings. But upon reflection, I’m realizing we’re ALL disapproving of others. I tend to be hypercritical of those I see as cruel towards some people. The snobs in society. Judge Judy drives me crazy the way she rudely nitpicks at certain individuals.

So, I try to be accepting of all people. We’re all different. I had a friend who drove me nuts, she was so judgmental. But she couldn’t, she wouldn’t let go of me as a friend, and I didn’t want to tell her straight up that she was goddam ignorant; I didn’t know how she’d take it. But she had something to say about everyone, including the homeless people outside her apartment building. That, despite the fact that I first met her when we were staying at the shelter. But she considers that different than living on the streets. I finally let her go…

You know, most people are alright. Well actually, peasants on the street can be just as judgmental as anyone. The gossip about others never ends, no matter what circle of humans you find yourself in.

There is a lady that I sometimes see at the bus plaza and on the bus though that I’m curious about, and have a hard time not checking out her growing outfit, as she continues to add more and more layers of frills to it, made from cut up brightly colored fabrics. I saw her recently on a hot summer day, and my how her floral garden had grown! She must attract a lot of bees. I mean, she’s interesting, that’s for sure – a walking piece of art. But I wonder, how often does she disassemble and reassemble her getup? Or does she sleep in it? She doesn’t smell bad, not that I’ve noticed, so surely, she’s taking showers. How long does it take to take off all those layers of frills and how long does it take to put them back on? Or do the ruffles stay on her jeans and shirt that she can just pull them off in a cinch? So yeah, I try not to pass judgment on her. But she’s certainly an exhibitionist and I don’t know how she can stand the summer heat in all those layers. I saw her during the record heat wave that just hit the Pacific Northwest and she was still covered in layer upon layer of frills. I’m not so curious about her, however, that I’m gonna sneak into her home and set up spy cameras to find out what her daily habits are like. That is something I’D never do.

Her outfit actually, now that I think of it, reminds me of my crazy junk-based 3D art projects that started budding and blossoming in my apartment – spreading out across my living room like wild strawberries run amuck – during the few short months when I was doing meth, before my siblings and neighbors got super curious about me, so inquisitive about me that I believe they DID put spy cameras in my home. I also remember when I was playing dress up to entertain, cheer up, and energize myself, as well as sometimes dressing up for my boyfriend. I had cut up fabrics and concocted some wild, sexy ensembles. Normally though I didn’t go out dressed super crazy. But come to think of it, one time I did. This was during my post drug-days (which was a short-lived time for me), when I thought I was being spied on, and I was determined to let it leak to the public that my 4th amendment constitutional privacy rights were being violated. I wore some kind of crazy getup. I wish I could remember what it looked like. All I can recollect is I had a collage duct taped to my outfit made from some issues of The Finger, which was an underground zine some friends and I put together. Well, I only worked on the Finger for three issues, actually. I believe I was also wearing a denim jacket with “Report Privacy Invasion! Call Crime Check!” along with Crime Check’s local phone number, even though I wasn’t really the biggest fan of “law & order.” Anyway, I went out clad like a spectacle, hoping to draw interest to my cause (my resistance to privacy invasion). I thought if I could attract attention, perhaps someone would investigate and discover that I was being spied on. I also had produced signs on blank paper using colorful sharpies and doodling that I taped to my apartment window facing a distant parking lot, in the hopes that someone would see the signs and take out binoculars to read them and view my battle for privacy rights. The regional manager told me to take the signs down as I was “defacing” the building, and I protested, insisting that I was being spied on and it was my cry for help.

Another time I crafted a huge sign and dressed up in an interesting – albeit not as spectacular as the getup I wore to my outing – outfit and started chanting “Psychological torture is against international law!” outside. A lady passing by asked me what it was all about, and I told her some people were spying on me and putting me through psychological torture. She responded with something like “Well, good luck!”

I do recall dressing slightly odd when I was in high school, and later when I was attending E.W.U. I was a radical Spokane cheerleader, against war, and had been inspired to “wear my art” by spoken-word artist Alix Olsen. But my outfits were NOTHING compared to this lady with piles upon piles of colorful frills decorating her underclothes, which remain on her regardless of the weather. I mean, someone I saw at a Mead High School reunion did comment that she liked the clothes I wore in high school, which just meant she thought my garments were “interesting”, but this was a high school with a bunch of rich preppy snobs and it didn’t take much imagination to be “different” at that school.

There was a time when my friend Orion and I ventured out, decked out in costume to distribute copies of the first ever issue of The Finger (with a middle finger printed on the front page pointed at an image of The Spokesman Review) in FRONT of The very same Spokesman Review. It was my idea to dress up initially, and I wore some kind of outfit with the bottom half of my bridesmaid dress from a friend’s wedding. It was a two-piece bridesmaid dress with a full long skirt; pastel lilac colored with metallic beads attached. I can’t remember the rest of the outfit, but I definitely remember what Orion put together. I have no idea how he did this, but somehow, he was a two-sided man. On one side he was wearing a white wife-beater ribbed tank top with red and white polka dot boxers, and on the other side he was dressed up like a 1930s businessman. He’s a true artist and did a fantastic job putting together that ensemble!

There was another time during the alleged spy operation, when I was hoping to attract FBI attention in hopes that they’d investigate my outlaw vigilante spies. I painted “DRUGS” with acrylic paint in loud colors and large print (maybe red and black? Can’t remember) on a canvas bag. I was walking near the federal building downtown. I don’t know why I thought they might be interested in helping a radical leftist out who had also been a suspected and actual drug user. I mean, they really don’t care at all about us. The feds and police let somethings slide, while inventing reasons to put more people of color, radicals, and drug users behind bars. I’m white but I had been a radical who had probably drawn at least a little bit of FBI attention in the past (well one friend though I probably had an FBI file based on what all I posted on Facebook). I was quickly becoming a temporary non-leftist however as instead of wanting a world without prison, I wanted to send a bunch of people to prison who I thought spied on me. But I reasoned we could let most everyone else outta jail!

So I guess I’ve been known to draw attention myself, although nowadays I go out dressed like a total “normal” person. You wouldn’t guess I ever had a wild streak from my current attire. Well maybe on occasion I sport a neat black & white bandana, but that’s about it. And I’m glad my junk-based art collection and scrap collection aren’t expanding exponentially and consuming my home. It’s good I’m writing instead. Although I must say, my new collection of hand-written journals IS increasing. They don’t take up as much space as my gigantic art projects, my years of accumulated paperwork, and my enormous book collection. But they do take up space. I might get around to scanning them someday to my PC, but then they’ll hog up digital space, and I’d need a roomier external drive, or an extra one. Eventually the external drives would pile up and invade my living room space!

Anyway, so yeah, I’m against judging and yet I judge people who judge, as well as notice some oddballs of society, but you know, some people really do deserve to be judged. Like white supremacists who murder black people. And x-husbands who forcibly budge their way into their ex-wives’ homes to look through the cupboards. Hell yeah, I’m gonna judge them! I’m gonna judge the fucking daylights out of them!

Speaking about people being judgmental; my sister Karrie recently called me a “nut bag” for accusing my siblings of having once spied on me. That ignorant fucking piece of shit bitch! It is NEVER okay to call someone a “nut bag”!

Categories
Consumer Behavior Religion & Politics

Drugs Should be Free!

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

So now we’re calling drug addiction a “mental illness” and forcing people on it to go to rehab. Fuck you, I’m not mentally ill for being a recovering addict. I mean I guess calling it mental illness is better than throwing us all in prison to rot for years; call it whatever you want. Not that being a person with a mental illness is a bad thing, but it should be noted that homosexuality was once considered a “mental illness” and that’s an insult to the LGBTQA+ community. Now, I’m not equating addiction with being a member of the queer community. They’re completely two different things, and addictions can definitely cause problem, but the list of addictions out there are endless, and some are legal but equally or even more destructive (such as consumer madness that’s totally wiping out our planet). But no one calls shopaholics “mentally ill” unless they sometimes suffer from mania.  I don’t have schizophrenia either. My siblings and some neighbors and a few others just thought I was some malingering druggie radical with ambitions to be in a leftist militia. Well, I wasn’t malingering actually, but I did do drugs for a while because that treated the chronic fatigue and pain, and I just might have had enough energy to achieve my big dreams of joining a leftist militia and helping to abolish capitalism. But I WASN’T malingering. I couldn’t work due to pain and fatigue. I was forced to face my limitations. And I fucking HATE facing my limitations. I’m a dreamer; there’s millions of things I’d like to do. Like founding a nonprofit that does D.I.Y. video work, D.I.Y. desktop publishing, D.I.Y. acting, D.I.Y. management, D.I.Y. EVERYTHING. But I was backing off from making any commitments out of fear of taking on too much and overdoing things, especially after reading some of the literature on Chronic Fatigue Syndrome & Fibromyalgia. But doing nothing was boring and it was totally depressing, so I tried drugs. Call my condition before drugs and sometime later post-drug use depression or somatoform disorder if you want, but don’t call it a fucking MENTAL HEALTH disorder. Don’t call it a behavioral health problem either. I find that equally offensive. It’s like saying there’s a problem with my behavior while at the same time telling me we live in a free fucking country! No, you’re only allowed to misbehave if you’re wealthy and get slaps on the wrist for your workers dying from unsafe conditions and oil leaks that destroy the environment, or for being a white supremacist that terrorizes the Black, LatinX, and Native communities. Fuck you!

Anyway, I’m not doing drugs now. Believe it or not, drug use isn’t allowed in my building or in my state (unless you call marijuana a drug, which still isn’t allowed in federally subsidized low-income housing due to federal law conflicting with state law (but don’t get started on state’s rights because that argument was once used by former slave-owners in the South bemoaning their “right” to enslave others).

Someday I’ll live in a housing unit and a state that allows drug use. And they won’t force us into treatment either and call us fucking “mentally ill.” So long as we’re not cooking meth in an apartment building and aren’t hurting anyone or guilty of gross abuse or negligence, including that of negligent abuse of babies in unchanged diapers, what’s the problem? Oh, and most of the violence that comes with the drug scene, is due to drugs being criminalized in the first place. Drug dealers are afraid of going to prison, so some of them murder narcs and rats, and anyone they’re suspicious of.

As far as most other drug-related crimes go, such as stealing and robbing to get money to pay for drugs, those problems would all go away if drugs were legal and free. And if you want to get treatment, that should be free too! Yeah, obviously if you’re not changing your babies diapers you should have your child taken away from you. If you’re beating up a partner because of your drug use, they should abandon you. I’m telling you though, that a lot of “behavioral issues” related to drug use is due to it being criminalized with a punishment of imprisonment, which by the way, due to an unfair criminal justice system targets ESPECIALLY Black, LatinX, and Native men!

Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

Big Dreams & Limited Energy

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

I have big dreams but have to limit them due to my Chronic Fatigue Syndrome, which sometimes gets depressing. If I had lots of energy, I’d build a successful nonprofit out of our blog, maintain a healthy social life so I could have lots of friends and acquaintances, and socially network. Not only would I write and publish my book, but I’d keep up better with the news, read lots of books, attend more protests, go to parties, go bicycling regularly, write lots of articles not only for our own blog, but for other publications as well, to help build up my name. I’d go on a big book tour to promote my book, plus would give speeches on other issues I strongly believe in. I’d speak out against capitalism & colonialism, speak up for reparations to the African Socialist People’s Party, speak out against hate crimes against sex workers, speak out against racist policing and mass imprisonment – especially of men, particularly black and Latino men – and speak up for the decriminalization & de-stigmatization of the entire sex industry and all drugs as well as advocate for free access to drugs to help prevent drug-related crimes that hurt people. I’d have a home with an art studio and a shed so I could upcycle art from junk and would devote some time and energy to art projects. I’d take lots of classes and workshops, including ones for nonprofit businesses, for art & welding, for speaking & dramatic storytelling, for writing, and for photography. So much more….

Unfortunately I like many others who have Chronic Fatigue Syndrome or other disabilities that limit our potential, can’t do all that.

I need to modify my future plan. It could take years to complete, promote, and publish my book, and time is of the essence in bringing some of my former spies to justice and suing them. My x-husband’s father is a wealthy retired stockbroker with a big home and lots of investments. But he won’t be around forever, and I need to sue him before he dies. My sister Joyce and her husband are in fantastic health and financially well-off so I’m sure they’ll climb socially and monetarily. Suing them isn’t as urgent because they’ll likely live at least 20 or 30 more years, possibly even into their 90s. I also plan to sue Goodale & Barbieri as I believe the apartment manager & maintenance guy of the building I lived in were in on the spy operation and had reason to illegally spy on me.

I can’t wait for my book to come out to sue my ex-husband’s father, however. So instead of focusing on my book right now, I need to work on my press kit some more as well as work a part-time job for several months when I have the energy, and use the extra money to hire a private investigator to work on my case. Afterwards, I am hoping to have enough evidence to present to the media to motivate them to finish investigating the spy operation I strongly believe I endured. After working for several months, I’m sure I will need some time for recovery, and then I will need to devote some time and energy into pursing a legal case against my alleged spies. Then I’ll need to recover from that, before working on my book. And given my energy level, that could take another decade, and at some point I’ll need to socially network more to promote my book. I may need a friend to do the book tour for me and share passages as well as talk about me from their own personal experience.

When I sue, I want to buy three drug repo houses to have renovated ecologically – one for my son, one for my ex-boyfriend, and one for me and my current boyfriend. I will also need to save up money to live on and will need to pay for a housekeeper for me and my disabled boyfriend, as well as increased utilities, health insurance (which I currently get for free through Medicaid), food without food stamp support, some money for recreation, home & garden tools, and much more. Not that I’ll be doing lots of gardening as that also takes energy, but I’ll try to get outside to garden with my boyfriend once in a while. I want my home to have a master bedroom & bath, a guest room & guest bathroom, a couple of offices or maybe one office with two desks, a living & dining room, a room for books, an art studio, and a shed for collecting junk for upcycling projects. These increases to our cost of living will limit how much reparations I can pay, but I will do my best to pay my reparations due. I will charge a small amount of rent to my son and ex-boyfriend depending on how they’re doing. My ex-boyfriend isn’t taking care of his health and doesn’t have health insurance, so I’m worried he’ll become disabled and lose his janitorial job. He’s razor-sharp though, so maybe I could get him to help with the blog should he become disabled and have more time on his hands, in exchange for cheap rent. I will also need to hold out money for upkeep & maintenance of the homes I own.

Hopefully I can do all this. It’s still a lot for a person with chronic fatigue though…

Categories
Religion & Politics

Are ALL rapists sadistic?

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

I don’t plan on kink-shaming in this article as BDSM can be fine between 2 consenting paired adults, so long as the agreement as followed and so long as there’s no major injuries such as limbs being broken, hands being cut off, and eyes being poked out. I don’t know if anyone has ever consented to major injuries anyway.

However, I did read in the Merck manual of mental disorders that less than 10% of rapists are sadistic. I would argue though that ALL rapists are NONCONSENTUALY sadistic. The reasons cited for rape is the desire to be powerful, and I would argue here that ALL rapists get off on the idea of causing PSYCHOLOGICAL pain to the victim, perhaps even excited at the idea that their emotionally traumatizing someone for life. While this isn’t physical torture per say (aside from the violence of the rape) it is definitely psychological torture.

The research hasn’t been done on this, though, so I can only speculate. This would, however, make for a good area of research, so if you know a psychologist who is interested in the psychology of rape, you may want to suggest this to them.

Categories
Religion & Politics

Workers & Volunteers in Social Service Who Frown on Their Clients

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

It really irritates me that some people who seek positions in Social Work, whether as actual social workers or as AmeriCorps volunteers and/or other volunteers FROWN on the people they serve. A fellowette AmeriCorps Vista, who was doing her service at the Hope House women’s shelter, believed that there SHOULD be a religious mandate there, because some of the women “really needed God.” As a Godless person, this really annoyed me. I don’t think it’s right to shove God’s dick down ANYONE’S throat. Neither do I think it’s okay for the workers to judge homeless people as “inferior.” The Union Gospel for Mission also is judgmental towards drug & alcohol addiction and won’t give them a place to stay warm if they don’t pass a UA. People DIE from being stuck out in the cold at night! And an addiction is NOT a character flaw! One guy who helps out at City Gate makes negative comments, like “If you were REALLY hungry, you’d eat that!” Which he said to me because I didn’t want a bologna sandwich because I’m fucking VEGETARIAN! If you’re going to go into service to “help” other people, make sure you unlearn your ignorance first. Which reminds me…in Service-Learning our goal was to get students to volunteer and learn from their volunteering. Well, first they need to be educated to not fucking judge people. And unlearning ignorance is a time-consuming process. There’s no guarantees they will EVER unlearn their ignorance, so maybe we shouldn’t be trying to throw them into service like that! Unfortunately, a lot of social service work is left in the hands of the religious, who place a lot of moral judgements on others. Some of them are NEVER going to unlearn their ignorance! We need adequate government-funded shelter for ALL!

Categories
Religion & Politics

Stop the Hate!

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

The killings of the Asian women wasn’t just hatred based on race and gender. It was also hatred of sex workers. Hatred in any form is unacceptable!

Categories
Religion & Politics

The Shootings Targeting Asian Female Sex Workers:

By Myra St. Clair Baldwin


Motivated by race, gender, a fixation on sex workers, and perhaps by a fixation on so-called “Communist China.”
I read some time ago that white supremacists were planning to start targeting sex workers. This was before the pandemic, when right wingers & right wing media personalities were blaming the virus on China. Add that to the fact that Epoch Times did a mass marketing campaign for awhile about their paper and the “threat” of “Communist China” and white supremacists also tend to hate communists and socialists. Keep in mind Joe Biden is also a right-wing nutjob spreading disinformation & misinformed of China, as well as much of the so-called liberal media. Anyway…so there was a lot of fuel on the fire already when this hate-filled white supremacist murderer shot eight people focusing especially on Asian female sex workers.

Categories
Consumer Behavior Religion & Politics

Destigmatizing & Decriminalizing Sex Work & Drugs


By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

I realize that a lot of Asian women and women in general are against the hypersexualization of Asian women & other women. Understandably so. But the fact is, women of Asian descent, and other races as well, need income. If we want to discourage sex work, we need to provide for all our citizens and noncitizens. Everyone needs housing, food, and clean water, for themselves and their families. Some women (& men) can provide well for their families with sex work. Yes, they’re exploited, but so are Amazon workers and millions of other workers in the U.S. alone, thanks to a capitalist system that feeds off keeping us all desperate for jobs and overworked and underpaid. The vast majority of workers are exploited. We need to stop stigmatizing the jobs performed by others, including sex work. Of course, many women do sex work by force, which needs to be addressed. Some women and men due it due to drug addiction, which is an illness that needs to stop being criminalized. Some are “groomed” to be sex workers by others who want to get them hooked on drugs so they’ll perform sex work in exchange for drugs. That needs to be addressed. We should provide safely administered drugs for free to people suffering from addiction so they won’t feel forced to turn to the street to get their fix, and so they won’t use dirty needles either. Plus of course offer them free ongoing treatment that won’t interfere with their jobs and won’t put them at risk of homelessness. And lastly, all sex work should be decriminalized because it puts sex workers at risk for imprisonment and losing housing, and sex workers are disproportionately nonwhite due to our racist, capitalist system. The only thing that should be criminal is forcing people into sex work and grooming them to be sex workers.

Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

Introducing Communist Myra Sue of the 2021 “All-American City”

Introducing Myra Sue (Who You Don’t Know…YET!)

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin, manager of The Deep End Northwest (a blog you’ve probably never heard about…YET).

I initially wrote this for The Onion, only to find out that The Onion doesn’t accept contributions from outside writers. I will have to educate myself about publications that DO accept outside contributions. Anyway, this was intended to be funny, even though it’s about a painful experience I underwent. This is written in third person...

Myra Sue from Spokane WA (now labeled the “All American City” reportedly remembers reading an article in the Pacific Northwest Inlander in 2015 (A Spokane weekly newspaper) about someone’s storage getting bought out and treasures being found, such as brochures. This reminded her of her own storage (which had brochures in it) getting bought out, because one of two guys stole her $80 her parents had given her to pay the storage bill she was behind on as well as her bottle of Xanax. She claims she only read this one article, well perhaps another, in all of 2015 because she was busy studying drug culture “experientially.” Despite reading this article in The Inlander, she claimed to be completely unaware of Shar Lichty’s 2015 run for Spokane mayor – even though she reportedly knew Shar Lichty from The Peace and Justice Action League of Spokane – until an alleged spy operation was underway (which, coincidentally started on or around the time of Spokane’s primary election on August 4, 2015”. She alleges one of her alleged spies told her and that is how she found out about Lichty’s run. She said because she was so caught up in “studying” drug culture, she didn’t know what was going on in the world outside. “I was busy studying drug culture like a cultural anthropologist or investigative journalist, plus I was busy scrapping and creating upcycled art from junk plus shuffling my stuff around like a Rubik’s cube to make everything fit so I wouldn’t be evicted for hoarding,” she said. “Then I got spied on by neighbors, apartment management, the maintenance guy, my hateful siblings as well as my hateful ex-husband’s well-to-do family, and a few others. They spied on me because they suspected me of drug abuse and drug-related activity and my neighbors were stalking and harassing suspected drug users and their friends.” She says also that her snobby sister Joyce Pardi’s husband has a close family member who’s retired FBI, and they may have thought she was a potential “terrorist” threat due to identifying as an Anarchist and threatening to anyone within earshot of her while she was talking loudly through her apartment walls that if they (Republicans in general and the apartment management) kept throwing people out on the street without food stamps and housing, then she was going to start a street revolution. She reports saying this so that her apartment manager would think twice about evicting her to avoid the beginning of class war, but that it backfired on her. She claims her alleged spies put her through psychological torture, which is against international law. While you are just now getting acquainted with Myra Sue, she says she plans to go down in history, fighting for the privacy rights of all druggies and suspected druggies. “The 4th Amendment applies to us to and I plan to fight the privacy rights for ALL U.S. citizens; even noncitizens!” While she has yet to make history and have her claims investigated by the media, she plans to write a book about her experience as well as her entire life and use her earnings to hire a private investigator to investigate her case. “I’m not a schizophrenic, and I’m going to prove that!” She’d ultimately like to see her alleged spies get busted.

Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

Is She Criminally Minded? (A Dream About My Sister Joyce)

By Myra St. Clair Baldwin

Last night I had a dream about my sister Joyce and me. We were sitting around a coffee table with a female friend of hers in a home (hers or her friend’s). She and her friend had their cell phones out and decided to charge some things to a few other guys’ accounts. Her friend said they weren’t likely to get caught, because these guys were not likely to look at their statements. My sister had no reason to commit these crimes other than for the thrill of it. She hadn’t committed any crimes since childhood, apart from the abusive spy operation I believed she and others had put me through, as well as underage drinking (which most everyone does). She had her own successful business (unlike my business which isn’t making it off the ground) and her husband is a civil engineer. They’re financially well off with no addictions to feed (except for shopping) and for my sister’s full adult life she’s been a social climber making all the “right” choices (though she has a shopping addiction for brand new consumer clothes & goods). It should be noted that the production and distribution of global consumer goods is as hard on the environment and as exploitative as street drug & pharmaceutical production, cars, and non-bioregional non-organic non-GMO food, but she obeyed the law anyway and worked hard (she’s blessed with natural high energy and is smart, so she’s been able to climb the ladder, unlike me who suffers from chronic fatigue and sometimes brain fog, plus I also learned about the evils of capitalism in college). Anyway she initially charged something to someone else’s account and felt kind of nervous but also kind of excited. Then she did it again and felt really excited, like that former high school lab teacher on Breaking Bad who starts producing & selling meth and gets a charge from it despite not using it himself. She exclaimed “I’m a criminal!” excitedly.

Anyway, her friend miscalculated, and somehow this indirectly led to a man’s death. I’m not sure how, but anyway they were afraid of getting caught. I wanted her to get caught, because I reasoned that would prove she was “criminally minded” and would help me build my case against her, my other siblings, and others who I believed spied on me. But I didn’t want to let on that I was planning to rat her out because I was afraid she might kill me to avoid a prison sentence. I decided to wait until I got home and then join the secret witness protection program. So I kept quiet. I went out to lunch with her and a couple others later and kept quiet. Then she had a party going on at her house with people coming and going, including a couple people I recognized from high school and tried to say “hi” to. People were also partying outside in the back yard. Somebody handed me a statement that had two items on it; one for $200 and one for $300 and it had a man’s name on it; apparently it was a statement for a guy who my sister and her friend stole from. I held onto it – but later someone wanted to see it and I handed it to them. She looked at it and gave me a surprised look and I said, “It wasn’t me!” Then I was afraid I had said to much, so I continued to be quiet while trying to appear social. The lady I had handed it to was showing others at the party and they were talking about it. I feared how this would turn out.

Later that evening, there were a few people outside in the front of her house. A man was outside in the middle of the street – a man they stole from – who had just coincidentally happened to stop by and had the statement in his hand. Apparently he was told that the statement was a bill for the alcohol for the party to cover up what the charges were really for, and he was talking about how unfair it was that he received a bill for the alcohol when no one else at the party had.

The next day I was with Joyce and a few others outside on someone’s lawn. I was standing with my back to the street facing the others and Joyce was on the right. I loudly blurted out a quote from the alleged spy operation. I can’t remember what the quote was; it was something that one of my spies said, and it was really fitting to the occasion. Perhaps it was “Is she criminally minded?” which I had heard Joyce herself say during the alleged spy operation, though in the spy operation, it was directed at me instead of herself. Everyone to the left of Joyce was looking at me, not understanding what I was talking about. Then I looked at Joyce and she let out some laughter like she recognized the quote, and then I laughed. I looked at everyone else and they looked at me like I was crazy, so I said “It’s an inside joke. You would have had to be there to get it!” I didn’t want to mention the spy operation because they would just act like it never happened and I was  just schizophrenic.

Then I woke up, so I’m not sure how this story would have ended.

Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

My Book Won’t be a Tell-all (Unless I Change my Mind)

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

I edited some of my blog articles on privacy invasion as well as my bio to indicate that the spy operation may have been real or imagined. It was a great pleasure to re-read  my essay “A Carrie Brownstein Wannabe Tries on Different Hats” as it was well written, quirky, and detail-packed.

Whether or not people believe there was a real spy operation, they should find my autobiography intriguing, when I’m done with it. I don’t think it will be a tell-all after all, because I was too traumatized by something to include it in my book and besides, I don’t want the media to get ahold of this tidbit of information on me. Just thinking about the potential for publicity (some of it negative) has put me in a state of severe anxiety, plus has caused me to relive the trauma I experienced. Though, even writing about the spy operation even without that piece of information will still be hard to do. Sorry to disappoint for not letting the cat totally out of the bag, but the media would possibly, totally PULVERIZE me for this secret. Hahaha! I will NEVER tell!

I just LOVE flirting dangerously with the press! But I will NEVER give away the ending!

Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

Brave

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

For a while, I was numbing the pain
By staying busy with groups, the Evergreen Club, and SLP activities.
And I needed to do that.
What I’d been through was so profoundly painful.
I didn’t share my whole story with my counselor or in groups.
But now I’m working on writing my book.
It’s not going to be easy.
Writing my book will be painful.
Sharing my story with the public will be scary.
I don’t know how the public will react.
I will probably gain a few fans, but have a lot of enemies.
I don’t know if I will win my case in court.
That’s up to the jurors, and I don’t know how kind they’ll be towards my cause.
I will need to rally lots of support.
I will need for a lawyer to be doing the majority of the media interviews, because it will be hard, really hard for me to do that.
I get that some people were feeling hurt and angry, and that’s why they lashed out at me, but that doesn’t justify what they put me through.
It was not okay.
This could happen to somebody else, and it shouldn’t.
Therefore I will proceed with this matter.
It will get easier with time.
I might attract the attention of the KKK. They might physically torture me and martyr me.
I must be VERY brave!
The book might take a while to write, because the subject matter is so deeply painful.
Yet, there may be a statute of limitations that I have to consider.
So proceed I must.

Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

What I’m Capable of…

They [my alleged spies] acted like I could be an actress, a journalist, a reporter, a business owner, a historian, a philosopher, a poet, a spouse, a speaker, an instructor., a revolutionary warrior, and a criminal detective. The list goes on and on.

By Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin

When my alleged spies tried to show me what all I could do, well, they must have been kidding me! To be a reporter, I really need to devote seven to ten hours per day following the news and chasing down stories and getting out in the community (I will try to get out more after the Covid-19 crisis). But as a business owner, I have other work to do that interferes with tuning into the news & literature full time. There’s a website to build, videos to edit, technology to trouble-shoot, and secretarial/bookkeeping work to do like filing quarterly taxes. Plus I have housework to do, which also suffers. The list of things they suggested I was capable of goes on and on. And my work suffers as a result, because I really CAN’T do it all! They acted like I could be an actress, a journalist, a reporter, a business owner, a historian, a philosopher, a poet, a spouse, a speaker, an instructor., a revolutionary warrior, and a criminal detective. The list goes on and on. I run out of steam (and time) to do it all. They just wanted to prove that I had talent and was therefore malingering. As a matter of fact, I am leading an investigation…into them! An investigation into the spy operation. I plan to send my former spies to prison, as well as sue them. I’ll teach them not to fuck with people!

Categories
Consumer Behavior Drunkcast Show

Kerouac Literature is a Gateway Drug!

Learn to Swim Show, Season 1, Special Edition

Sean P. McKelvey of The Deep End Northwest discusses drug addiction, the Methadone clinic, decriminalization of drugs, and saving someone’s life.

Categories
Consumer Behavior Learn to Swim Podcasts Religion & Politics

Abolish the 4th of July!

In this video, we discuss Trump’s Mount Rushmore speech, our so-called free country with the highest per capita of prisoners in the world & animals in cages and on factory farms, that was founded on slavery and genocide of the indigenous population, ICE detention centers, the so-called freedom to “not wear masks” and consume, and the state of the upcoming election.

Featuring Orion Moon & Myra Sue St. Clair Baldwin of The Deep End Northwest.

Video:

Audio Podcast:

Categories
The Privacy Invasion Collection

Possible Gaslighting

By Myra St. Clair Baldwin

That now makes 4 nonschizophrenic friends who know me well that believe it’s possible there was a real spy operation. A few of my alleged spies were white & wealthy, and I don’t know if they’ll ever have to do one single day in jail for what they put me through.

I wouldn’t put it past my exhusband and his family at all to do that to me. Years ago, when I lived with a roommate, my son and her son were at home (she was at work), and I opened the door to my exhusband. He pushed me aside and started looking through the cupboards to see if I had any weed (this is when it was illegal). He thought I must be smoking weed since I had become a college radical. I could have and should have called the cops on him. I didn’t and instead set a dangerous precedent that it was okay to violate my constitutionally guaranteed privacy rights.